By Don Hall

Literate Ape turned seven years old Tuesday. We launched this bitch August 1, 2016.

In seven years this literary digital magazine has seen:

466,000 pageviews

252,000 unique visitors

Most read pieces in seven years

• Saying “I Love You to the Moon and Back” is an Empty Sentiment (12,000)

• Stalin Plucked a Chicken and It Was Us (10,000)

• Problematic Movies of the 80’s | Porky’s (9,600)

• All 16 Problematic Movies of the 80’s (59,000)

14 books published

296 ApeCasts, 45 I Like to Watch, 71 Amnesia Motels, 43 BUGHOUSE! performances in both Chicago and Las Vegas.

Works by 43 different writers

2,863 published pieces (which is, like, 3,000,000,000 words)

I like this site. My mom thinks we should sell ads but I hate ads. I hate sponsored posts. I hate marketing online and in general.

I like it just as it is. I’d like it if those who write for it wrote more but I’d also like to be able to pay them. We did pay for three or four years but that was coming out of the Himmel and Hall personal finance department and we couldn’t sustain it. David bought a house, has two kids, and two dogs. I had a prostitute for a wife who took all my money. Whaddya gonna do?

If you’re reading this, thanks. We’re still having a ball.