By David Himmel

• My life is a perfectly clean slate floating through a river of late night McDonald’s diarrhea.

• The sign of a well-loved dog is pizza sauce in her fur from the human children petting and playing with her. [swoon]

• Trust is necessary. But trust is dangerous. It’s like riding the CTA late night stoned out of your mind. You still gotta do it.

• Balance is letting someone freak out, lose their shit, completely unravel while you remain calm, actively listen, and hold their hand—even if it’s figurative. And then the same thing happens when the roles are reversed. Balance could be love.

• Be mindful of the hearts of others in all you do.

• We are all equal parts innocent and guilty. Except for Trump. That mofo is guilty as hell.