By David Himmel

• One really good way to get angry at all of your exes is to officiate a really beautiful wedding for two people in their forties.

• Being human is an exercise in managing our stupidity.

• I love a nice big, fluffy sheet towel. But sometimes, though not too often, I like my towels like I like my pizza, thin and crispy.

• A good bawling your stupid eyes out before the sun rises is a great way to start your day. Just get that shit out of the way and get on with getting on with it.

• If you do nothing else today, give people permission to be who they’re going to be. That’s what’ll make this flaming fuckshow of human existence a bit better.

• One really good way to get angry at yourself is to officiate a really beautiful wedding for two people in their forties.