By David Himmel

• Signing off of a Zoom call is nothing else but awkward. “Bye!” Then hold the smile while you attempt to click that red End Meeting button, which is never where you last saw it.

• My six-year-old tells me, “Daddy, you have white in your beard. You’re getting old.” Yeah, well, you have no piss accuracy, so…

• The most lasting relationships consist of people who provide their partner with the thing or things they could never do for themselves.

• Cleanliness may be next to Godliness, but it’s even closer to not being gross. And not being gross is good enough.

• I don’t like bibliophiles. They’re right up there with vegans, Swifties, and born again Christians, and Disney Adults. Calm down. All of you. Your one-dimensional personality sucks.

• Looking for work is an exercise in how little you have to offer people. Looking for love is an exercise in how little people have to offer you.