By David Himmel

• I learned more about safe sex from TLC’s “Ain’t 2 Proud 2 Beg” video than I did from health class.

• Speaking of things we ain’t too proud about… I ain’t too proud to boast that despite capturing cute photos of my son going into his first day of first grade, I didn’t share any on Instagram. Because I’d hate to out-cute all your kids.

• You can tell a lot about a person by which skin color they root for when watching a Western film.

• Always plan for the unexpected.

• The reason the trope exists that men are funnier than women is because goofy men are essentially acting like children. That boyish stupidity and charm is endearing. Women are funny. Very funny. Always have been. But they can’t play affable children, because that’s just sexy. And that, my friends, is the Patriarchy in practice.

• Sometimes my actions are like watching a bipolar disorder deal with a cocaine addiction.