By David Himmel

• Dog snuggles are the best. Often, I would rather snuggle with my dog than a good woman. It doesn’t serve my romantic life well, but it does boost my alpha male status in my dog’s eyes.

• I am not satisfied until my mosquito bites have been scratched into permanent scars. This is a literal and metaphorical commentary on the self.

• The best part of the film Idiocracy is what a smoke show Maya Rudolph is.

• Remember this, friends: There’s nothing wrong with being rich or having privilege. There’s something wrong in using it to your advantage in a way that hinders or hurts others.

• Sometimes, you just need to spend a day in the movie theater eating all the garbage, drinking all the cavity juice. Fuck it. You only live three times.

• I have a lot of really good ideas I’m not ready to tell myself yet.