By David Himmel

• I would kill to be a sociopath.

• A year after the election of Trump, it’s still hard for some to comprehend the reality of it. But did you know that Jerry Springer is still on TV? That he and his show maintain some kind of relevance after all this time is both stranger than Trump and the reason for Trump. Really, just who in the hell is still watching Jerry Springer?

• Buy more gum.

• Work all day, drink scotch on the toilet… that’s the dream.

• You know you’re in trouble when you get a drunk dial from your therapist.

• Good writing should leave me exhausted and encouraged, with clarity and frustration. It should make me want to do more and completely give up. If the writing hasn’t left me vigorously happy and markedly depressed it wasn’t good enough and it didn’t do its job.

I recognize that this note did none of those things for anyone.