By David Himmel

• Amazon Key is not something I’m interested in. There’s just no real way to prevent someone from jerking off on your bed. Or worse, upper decking your toilet. It’s what I would do.

• I had a short discussion about the NFL-Kneeling-Flag thing with a guy at an airport bar. We had opposing views. Neither of us changed the other’s mind but the conversation was civil. It’s amazing how nice people can be to each other when sharing opinions when they’re both enjoying their first drink.

• I have always appreciated Madonna for continuing to reinvent herself with each album or decade or whatever. With her new skin care line, she’s reinvented herself as a chubby Drew Barrymore.

• My anxiety is a creature of the night. Thankfully it’s afraid of scotch.

• A dog’s love is the sort of love we should all strive to give and receive. Our pet dogs are, in most cases, always better than our horrible, selfish husbands and wives, our hateful, whiny children, and our needy, stupid friends.

• I’m really hoping, somehow, that Tucker Carlson ends up indicted for something dealing with this Muller-Russian investigation thing. That smug, crooked short-wang needs some kind of comeuppance and fast. He’s just awful.