By David Himmel

If you ask Donald Trump, 2017 was a tremendous year. If you ask someone who makes their living as a life coach, they’ll tell you all years are tremendous because, well, positivity, you know? And that makes life coaches as delusional as Donald Trump.

This year was one spent by most of us — anyone paying attention — trying to understand where we belong. Last November, shortly after the election, I wrote about not knowing what side of what cause I belonged to, or rather, what side of what cause would have me. As 2017 came to be, that confusion and sense of having nowhere to call home increased. Politically and socially, I'm somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, while so many others are camped out on the edges.

Professionally, I've struggled since late last December to understand what purpose I served in the spaces of creativity and capitalistic endeavors, and I remain uncertain of who wants my talents and if they are even talents at all. Personally, upon learning that I'm going to be a dad, I've struggled to figure out where I exist in my own home. I've felt pushed out of my own space to make room for something that needs far less of it, which is OK, theoretically, but immediately and emotionally, it's a goddamn drag.

This year was one of those foul ones. Nationally, America spent this year continuing to convince itself it is a relevant world leader. But it's not. We don't rank anywhere near the top of things worth being proud of like education, healthcare, wealth distribution... Where does America belong? Perhaps in the dustbin of the world's history. Locally — in Chicago anyway — the same old corruption and militant violence occurs in a way that is as traditional as the Macy’s window displays and that old black preacher standing out on State Street barking bible verses. I could easily write a hate-filled scourge against 2017, and it would be completely reasonable. But instead, I’m going to try something different.

As we near the end of the year that history will unfortunately remember as an utter shitshow of misguided pride and crippling uncertainty, and in an effort to throw some end-of-the-year-list clickbait on Literate Ape to continue to expand readership, I’m going to present a list of both the good and the bad of 2017. Looking at the positive as well as the negative is something I'm trying to do more of. It keeps me swimming and in most cases, laughing. All I ask is that you do not mistake my positivity as anything remotely influenced by a life coach.

2017's Good and Bad List According to David Himmel

Good
We haven't heard a peep from Billy Bush
Bad
President Trump was sworn in

Good
I made more money in 2017 than I did in 2016
Bad
Have started spending big bucks on baby stuff

Good
I landed a full-time gig
Bad
Got laid off from the full-time gig

Good
I learned that I'm going to be a dad
Bad
I learned that I'm going to be a dad

Good
We're finally knocking down the pillars of systemic and pathetic perversion in American culture
Bad
We had to collectively suffer the true-crime imagery of Harvey Weinstein doing gross sex stuff

Good
Katie has had a healthy pregnancy
Bad
Even the healthiest pregnancy is an uncomfortable one

Good
Literate Ape
Bad
Hedy Weiss is still ruining the lives of sensitive theatrical artists

Good
Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Bad
All those personally offended by Star Wars: The Last Jedi. (Shut up. It's a fucking movie, you virgin dorks)

Good
Sean Spicer stepped down
Bad
Melissa Huckabee Sanders stepped up

Good
Still haven't heard a goddamn word from Billy Bush
Bad
My dog and best pal, Eddie, died

Good
Remembered that panic solves nothing
Bad
Had to be reminded that panic solves nothing

Good
Another year of not having a new cancer
Bad
Not everyone can say they didn't have a new cancer

Good
Ordinary citizens exercising their right to carry weapons thwarted mass shootings with their timely bravery and crack shooting
Bad
I'm kidding; nothing stopped the mass shootings in Las Vegas or Texas from happening

Good
I have a big family and lots of friends to love and who love me
Bad
My family and friends sometimes drive me to drink

Good
Made a lot of new friends this year
Bad
Great, more people to occasionally drive me to drink

Good
We survived 2017
Bad
There's a good chance we won't survive 2018 if our president keeps throwing his tiny dick around as if America has something to prove without actually being able to back it up

Good
White men got put in their place
Bad
Identity politics and wrongful cultural divides were increased

Good
The Chicago Police Department didn't slaughter the entire black community
Bad
They sure as fuck tried

Good
Despite the well-paid full-time gig, I picked up a new well-paying and fairly regular freelance gig
Bad
Nah, there's nothing bad about having a source of revenue