By Don Hall

"Fight fire with fire" is perhaps the most asinine thing ever said.

The literal perspective is ridiculous. You fight fire with water and by eliminating the oxygen (which is, in the firefighter's parlance "letting fire eat itself"). Imagine trying to put out a fire with a flamethrower and some gasoline and you see how dipshit the idea is.

And yet, in our modern society (or is post post modern?), the solution to societal fires seems to be to adopt the same attack strategies as the fires themselves.

Wanna combat the gun-toting maniacs who fire upon kids in schools? More guns.

Wanna fight back the angry white supremacist thugs and the institutional racism inherent in the American system? Become militant and angry and castigate white people.

Wanna be a liberated young woman and stem the tide of the patriarchy? Act like a drunken frat boy, fuck indiscriminately, and always be ready for a fight like a bro.

The country has become a giant population of five year olds, decrying injustice by adopting the behavior of the unjust. "I hit him because he hit me first," is the argument of a child once kicked in the head by a horse.

You don't create more inclusion by creating more exclusion.

You don't create equality by acting equally shitty. I mean, I suppose you do but that really isn't the goal right? The equality of shitty behavior?

We didn't win the Cold War because we were badass or because we had more nukes than the USSR. We won the Cold War because we outspent them in that race for dominance until they went broke. Detente is a stupid concept that only seems rational in the same way it seems rational to vandalize your neighbor's car because his dog shit in your rosebushes.

Gun violence is not effectively beaten with more guns.

Racial justice is not achieved with more intolerance.

Feminism is not actualized by adopting the practices of douchebags.

Grow up.