Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 16, 2022
Parenting is sometimes you and your kid getting pissed at each other over how fast he eats his box of raisins.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 10, 2022
Want evidence that humanity sucks? Look no further than a parking garage and the way humans park far outside lines and leave their SUVs in spots marked “Small Car Only.”
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 2, 2022
The season one, second episode of The Book of Boba Fett should have been called, “Dances with Sand People.”
A Brief Poem About a Writer Who Doesn't Write
They say—they being creative writing professors, esteemed novelists, and hacks with wordy Instagram posts alike—that writers write. Writers who get their shit out there—not all of it, but enough of it—are the real writers. True warriors of the pen and keys.
Y2K 2.0: One Man's Struggle with an Unforgiving Virus
Could I have used the watch as it was with its minor malfunctions? Yes. As a sport watch, sure. But Katie paid good money for KITT and I see nothing wrong with wanting new Christmas presents to work as intended. I also expect a lot from Apple products even if they do give me the heebie-jeebies. And they do. But not because I’m afraid of technology but because I carry the Y2K virus in my blood. I am a thriving host for this 21st Century strain of panic.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 26, 2021
We all want to be new versions of ourselves with each New Year. But change is hard and it’s much easier to love the one you’re with. To tolerate the one you are.
Merry Christmas from the Afterlife
I can see them when I sneak out from the basement, walk to the front of the house and peek into the windows like a pervert, but I cannot participate in their life. I can hear them occasionally talking about me, but the longer I’m down here, the less I come up in conversation. In another few days, I expect to hear the voice of a man telling Katie he’ll love Harry like he was his own just before he moves his shit into my house.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Christmas Eve, 2021
Santa Claus is as real as the fact that this time next year, covid won’t be a problem.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 5, 2021
The first two minutes of And Just Like That, the Sex and the City spin-off, is worse than the entire day of Sept. 11, 2001.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 28, 2021
Shredded parmesan cheese tastes better than grated parmesan cheese. Fight me.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 14, 2021
In my opinion, pineapple can go on pizza. But the idea of drizzling gooey cheese on a piece of warm pineapple repulses me. I have been working through this complicated realization for a week now and the logic is not any closer to revealing itself.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 7, 2021
You’re not getting your steps in, you’re going for a walk. Just the same as I’m not flexing my sphincter, I’m taking a shit.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 31, 2021
Tattoos are bumper stickers for your skin. The difference is that tattoos are classy.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 24, 2021
Being offended is a choice. Just like it’s a choice to live your unrealistic truth. It’s okay to live in a fantasy world of discomfort but why would you want to? And don’t be surprised if no one fun wants to join you there.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 17, 2021
An unfinished manuscript can haunt you like a ghost. An unpublished book can devour your brain like a hungry zombie.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 10, 2021
Has there ever been a king named Simon? Because that seems like a good name for a king since everyone must do what Simon says.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 3, 2021
I’m not one to introduce holidays too early. Like, keep Halloween in October, thanksgiving in November, etc. but if the threat of texting Santa gets my kid to brush his teeth and get to bed without a fuss at any point in the year, I’m all for talking Christmas in March.
Why Keep Giving Facebook My Business?
I don’t know if I’ll leave it. But it’s been on my mind for a while now. Maybe I won’t go cold turkey, maybe I’ll start by deleting the app from my phone. Or maybe it’s best to pack up all my shit and walk right out. That’s the advice I’d give to someone else in an abusive relationship.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 26, 2021
Beware: We are in the Nesting Season. The Season of Nostalgia. Embrace it or be consumed by your darkest depressions. And know that no amount of convincing yourself that Sweater Weather means anything other than the northern hemisphere is preparing to die for a few months.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 19, 2021
Perhaps our obsession with missing and dead white girls is because they often go missing and are killed by white men and we just love looking at ourselves even at our worst. We’re self-obsessed. We are American Psychos.
How do you want to be defined? By one action? By some opinion that could evolve? By a mistake, regrettable only with hindsight? Or by the sum of your parts? Okay, do that for other people. Start the trend.