I Believe… [But Th-Th-They Do It, Too!]
…that the comedy stylings of Andy Borowitz and everyone at McSweeney’s reminds me of every jokey improv group comprised of high school students, and makes me want to claw my eyes out with a garden spade. I mean, McSweeney’s is the Huffpost of comedy writing and Borowitz is as funny as an anal tear.
…that, in your pursuit of justice after being fired from an organization includes an ongoing scroll of complaints on social media in an effort to gin up an opposition to that organization, you probably shouldn’t be surprised if no one ever hires you again.
…that the act of pointing out the bad behavior of others when confronted with your own is the act of a child. This is true for presidents, improv comedians, and people caught littering.
…that in your pursuit of power you use the crowd-raging method continually and another aggrieved group uses the same technique against you, your feigned surprise and outcry of unfairness is a sign around your neck that states “I Am Hypocrisy.”
…that the new gaper’s block (when traffic slows down to see if that accident comes with a decapitated head or dead baby) is seeing an ideological dust up on social media and then reading every comment obsessively then rechecking it every few minutes to see what else is happening in the melodrama of uninformed opinions and raging narcissism.