I Believe… [Follow the Money]
...that the most body positive corporations on the planet are McDonald’s, Frito-Lay, and Kraft.
I Believe… [Love Actually?]
...that my favorite part of Love Actually (which, mind you, is like declaring my favorite part of a Sizzler sald bar) is the story about the aging rockstar who realizes he’d rather spend Christmas with his loyal friend than party with Elton John.
I Believe… [The Paradox of Wisdom]
...that good judgement comes from experience and experience comes from poor judgement.
I Believe… [Intensity vs Depth]
...that intense and deep aren’t the same thing even if you’ve convinced yourself they are. Intense is momentary and fleeting; deep is the result of time and energy.
I Believe… [Banquet Platters]
...that few things are more appealing than leftover banquet platters.
I Believe… [Wrecking Ball]
...that, when coming in and making sweeping changes in an organization, it’s best to Miley Cyrus that shit and wrecking ball the place.
I Believe… [Too Much Absence]
...that some absence makes the heart grow fonder; too much absence makes the heart forget.
I Believe… [In Live Music]
...that music, like sex, sports, and theater, is best enjoyed live.
I Believe… [Spiteful Electioneering]
...that among the worst rationales for voting, the vote for spite is right up at the top.
I Believe… [Downshifting]
...that learning to downshift is more difficult than it seems but is a skill well worth mastering.
I Believe… [Expanding Empathy]
...that the people you encounter whose very existence challenges your worldview are an opportunity to expand rather than contract your empathy and common understanding.
I Believe… [Anticipation]
...that anticipating something wonderful is often more fun than the wonderful thing. If the two match up, that’s the juice, gang.
I Believe… [Puppy Casserole?]
...that if anyone in the country is guilty of eating dogs and cats they all live in the Appalachians.
I Believe… [The Tease of Autumn]
...that, after a summer broiling in a giant outdoor venue for hours a day, the tease of jacket weather is as sexy as the collarbone revealed with an off-the-shoulder dress.
I Believe… [Doing Unto Others]
...that treating people the way you’d want to be treated is really not that difficult.
I Believe… [It’s the Economy, Stupid]
...that the emphasis on class and labor and muting of identity and social justice is the pivot required for the Left to win elections moving forward.
I Believe…[Sell By Date]
...that like beer and cheese, a person’s ‘sell by’ date is a fiction, an illusion designed to prioritize the new over the seasoned, youth over experience.
I Believe…[Unsafe]
..that anyone not in a dark alley or the home of a known serial killer who claims the feel unsafe probably are best off becoming agoraphobic and staying inside.
I Believe…[Desperation]
...that the need to be liked (including the hormonally charged desire for ‘followers’) makes you the eighth grade boy at the middle school dance in line to impress the one girl who just got a training bra.
I Believe…[The Means is the Point]
...that anyone who espouses the idea that "the end justifies the means" has forgotten that this same philosophy was used to support everything from slavery to the Holocaust to the IMF practicing "shock doctrine" economic devastation. The "means" defines the character of the end, not the other way around.
Christmas is a time for giving, being with family and friends, and hating every other asshole out there in the shops and on the roads also trying to spread joy and share in the Christmas spirit. Similarly, Hanukkah is a time for Jewish people to desperately try to feel relevant during Christmastime.