The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Presidential Boos News
A boo is just a cheer upside-down.
The Very White House
The Oval Office
Monday, November 4th 12:30pm
Attendance: Donald Trump, Mick Mulvaney, Kellyanne Conway
Donald – We need to find a sporting event full of adoring fans that will cheer wildly for me. I deserve it. I killed the leader of ISIS, the most dangerous man in the world since Hilary Clinton. America has the greatest economy in its history, ever, thanks to me. North Korea is thinking about maybe sort of being denuclearized because of me. I should be cheered when I go to the bathroom.
Kellyanne – Yay! Yay!!! Trump! Trump! Trump! Four more years!!! Poop!!!
Donald – I appreciate the gesture, Kellyanne, but it means nothing to me if thousands of Americans aren’t doing it in a stadium on camera.
Mick – Well, Sir, I think we have some options. We could find a basketball game and fill the seats with Trump supporters. To do that, we’d need to find a team that isn’t doing well and has low ticket sales.
Kellyanne – Or a women’s basketball game. Show the libs how supportive of women you are.
Donald – I’ve seen some of those women. No thanks. They’re like those soccer playing lesbians, but taller. We need to find an event full of my people. What about NASCAR. NASCAR fans love me.
Mick – There’s only two races left. The last one is in Miami next weekend.
Donald – Well, that settles it. As long as the cameras can hear the cheers over the car engines.
Kellyanne – It’s on a Sunday afternoon.
Donald – Well, then, that’s a no. I’ll be government funded golfing. Maybe I can pop in after and just wave to the crowd. Any nighttime events that aren’t baseball or the UFC? By the way, I was perfectly cheered at that UFC event.
Mick – We know, Sir. The mainstream media and regular people with cell phone videos are out to sabotage your success.
Donald - Madison Square Garden has horrible acoustics. Just ask all the musicians that play there. Kanye, Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, they’ll tell you. If you look at those videos on-line claiming people were booing, they are all from the way-up-high liberal cheap seats. The cheering came from where it counts. From the rich people ringside.
Mick – They love you in the south. We should stick to trying to find something there. Something with good acoustics. College football is in full swing.
Donald – Let’s go back to Alabama. They loved me there and they re-elected their Republican governor. Doesn’t get much redder than in Alabama. Go Red Tide, right? That’s a thing, right?
Mick – Sure it is and there is a game this coming Saturday, but-
Kellyanne – Oh, this is good. It’s Louisiana versus Alabama. Both those states have substantial patriotic boners for you, Sir.
Donald – That’s perfect. The home team and the away team fans will all cheer for me.
Mick – I didn’t tell you this, Sir, but you already got an invitation. From Roy Moore. The…pedophile.
Donald – He’s not a pedophile. The girl was 14. Practically a woman.
Kellyanne – I agree with what you’re saying, Mr. President, but in the eyes of the “law”, 14 is not an adult.
Donald – You can’t blame Roy. She probably looked older and lied. The age of consent in Alabama is 16.
Mick – How do you know that, Sir?
Donald – My lawyers made me memorize the age of consent in every state. It’s the only thing I have committed to memory.
Kellyanne – Alabama it is, Sir! And, if you don’t mind me saying so, “Yay! Yay! Trump 2020! Pooooop!”
(Kellyanne does a cartwheel while barefoot and in a dress.)
Roy Moore, like Trump, has a tiny gun that he likes to show the girls, whether they ask to see it or not. Usually not.