The Cereal Wish | Part 6
Sarah was gone. All that was in the hall was a big box full of boxes of Product 19 on its side. I hate Product 19, but she wants me to eat it because it’s healthy. She must have bought it to make up for forgetting the cereal. “How is this my wish?” The genie was gone, too.
The Cereal Wish | Part 5
I wake up lying flat out in the entry hall closet we never use because we are too lazy to open the door. I’m lying on boxes of Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios I had wished into being. There are even some extras to make a pillow for my head. Melted chocolate is streaming out of the boxes like cookie blood. I can hear Maggie snuffling at the doorway.
A Message of Hope Before We All Die
We’re screwed-ish.
See! I Told You! – Donald Trump, Jr Speaks Out About Hunter Biden
Put Biden and his family behind bars and my family and I will celebrate in bars.
Are We All ADHD Or Is It Just The World?
Can we just put RuPaul in charge of everything?
News for YOU Headlines
The World Is Burning, Stock Up On Booze
THE TRUMP BAROMETER - Measuring the GOP Presidential Candidates
I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot a baby and wouldn’t lose any of my supporters.
Florida to Ban the Printed Word
This announcement will only be on TV and radio, right?
America, You Look Pretty Tonight by Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy
You’re the one making me do this. I love you.
Predictions About Trump’s CNN Town Hall
The only sponsors will be MyPillow, Reverse Mortgages, and Bud Light.
Tucker Carlson Testicle Tanning Salons
There’s a masculinity crisis in this country and I’m going balls-to-the-toasty-wall for men everywhere.
The Quiet Part Out Loud
Writers? I could write that.
An Open Letter About Ethics from Brett Kavanaugh
We sat in his jacuzzi and drank PBR out of Hitler’s boot.
Trump Unable to Do Community Service Due to Bone Spurs
He is fine with the toilet being next to his bed and wonders why he didn’t think of that.
GOP To End School Shootings
America, we have a solution. Time to eliminate education.
The Life's Not Fair Fair!
Guess your weight or age? Nope. We’re just going call you fat and old.
Republica-dabra! The Great DeSantis!
I have outlawed The Magic Kingdom. By law, they are now The Straight Kingdom in DeSantisland.
Actually, Let Me Explain International Women’s Day
Women already dominate all the holidays that involve buying something other than fireworks.
Hogwarts Public School of Witchcraft and Sorcery – St. Louis
You will receive mentorship from experienced underpaid faculty and unqualified substitute teachers who will herd you in your journey.
AI Generated Minutes
God is dead.
Emotions are the greatest challenge we face as a people. Sociopaths have it easy.