The Cinema of 2019: A Literate Ape End-of-Year Review
By Don Hall and Brett Dworski
Editor’s Note:
With projects like Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Watchmen, The Mandalorian, and pretty much everything produced for the CW, we are smack dab in the epicenter of the Age of Fan Fiction. The films of 2019 have some nods to this trend with Joker, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, and Yesterday playing hard and loose with expanding the existing iconography to tell new stories.
We enjoyed a lot of movies in 2019. While not a banner year like 1968 or 1999, the year certainly had its standouts. Here is our end of the year list of the films that impacted us the most compiled by Don Hall and Brett Dworski, both film fans and people with acceptable vision and hearing.
NOTE: These are not ranked because generally, we believe the practice of ranking films is fucking stupid. However, we do rate them from 1 to 5 Apes. Enjoy.
Apollo 11
4 Apes (DH)
There really was a time when America was great. Sure, there was still segregation and violence, the war overseas, the draft, and the host of problems faced by the country but the men and women who took up Kennedy’s challenge to get a human being on the surface of the moon elevated us all. Apollo 11 is a documentary using entirely archival footage of this historic moment when mankind exceeded itself.
Honey Boy
1 Ape (BD)
The anticipated debut of writer Shia LaBeouf is choppy and disappointing. Newcomer Noah Jupe plays child actor Otis—based on LaBeouf—whose drunken father disrupts his recent success. The film’s inconsistencies stem across the plot, casting and performances. The father, played by LaBeouf, flops between abusive asshole and tender daddy by the minute; neither is compelling. Lucas Hedges, who plays Otis as a drug-abusing teenager, looks nothing like LaBeouf or Jupe. And once things get interesting, Otis forgives his pop and tells him he’s “going to make a movie about him.” Very original, Shia. The fact that Honey Boy is based on LaBeouf’s life is intriguing, but the film is ultimately a huge letdown.
Midsommar
4 Apes (DH)
Ari Astor gives us a twisted break up story wrapped in the bloody flowered crown of a horror film set in blinding sunlight. I loved Hereditary for a million reasons. I loved Midsommar for five: Florence Pugh, the bizarre mating ritual, the fucked up mushroom visuals, old people willingly plunging to their deaths, and a dude being stuffed into the skin of a recently slaughtered bear and burned alive.
Dolemite Is My Name
3 Apes (BD)
Eddie Murphy rewinds the clock to his Raw and Delirious days in this biopic of Rudy Ray Moore, a comedian and musician behind the Blaxploitation movement of the 1970s. While wildly erratic at times, it’s also an affectionate and sobering look at the hustle of show business. It took years for Murphy to ditch his affable family-man routine, but it was worth the wait: Dolemite Is My Name cements the raunchy, cocksure comic as one of the greatest talents of all time.
Yesterday
3 Apes (DH)
I wrote about this here. Loved it.
The Lighthouse
3 Apes (BD)
Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe are exhilarating in this delirious indie thriller. They play 19th century lighthouse keepers who struggle to maintain their sanity upon learning they’re stuck on an island off the coast of New England. The stunning black and white landscapes of Nova Scotia are overshadowed by Dafoe’s and Pattinson’s constant bickering, farting, masturbating, and binge drinking. The Lighthouse is bizarre, hilarious, terrifying, peculiar… and quite good. You’ll never view seagulls the same way after watching it.
Endgame
5 Apes (DH)
The culmination of nearly two dozen interconnected films all stemming from my Gen X childhood? I’ve been waiting since I read my first Avengers comic when I was ten years old for this and it did not disappoint. Packed with incredibly satisfying moments (Professor Hulk, Cap gets the Hammer, “...on your left...,” and “I... am... Iron Man”) this was the most fun three hours I could imagine that didn’t involve cheese or sex.
The Art of Self Defense
4 Apes (BD)
This deadpan and absurdist comedy highlights toxic masculinity through a ruthless karate class. Jessie Eisenberg plays Casey, a lonely, frightened accountant who enlists in the course after a mugging leaves him hospitalized. Led by a vain and puzzling instructor, the class soon absorbs Casey’s life and brainwashes him to commit barbaric acts beyond self-protection. Although clearly a blend of Fight Club and The Karate Kid, The Art of Self Defense carries an unusual rhythm that separates it from its predecessors—and displays a refreshing kind of filmmaking from newcomer Riley Streams.
Joker
4 Apes (DH)
The politics that suddenly surrounded this were nothing more than distraction. Was it a response to the humorless Woke culture? An Incel Fantasy? Who gives a fuck. It was a film that did something a lot of movies lately refuse to do—it surprised us. It also included an amazing, painful performance by Joaquin Phoenix and, like Logan before it, used the pop culture iconography of the comic book tropes and deepened them in ways that only a bold approach could.
High Life
4 Apes (BD)
Visually-stunning cinematography and a harrowing storyline carry High Life, one of the most daunting films of the year. Set in a futuristic world where death-row inmates are sent to conduct eerie experiments in outer space, High Life is as morbid as it is alluring. The movie—which was made in 2018 but not released in theaters until 2019—resembles a space version of The Shining with its isolation-leads-to-madness concept. While too edgy for some, High Life is one of the most uniquely made films in years.
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
5 Apes (DH)
Tarantino’s homage to revisionist history, the plight of growing old and becoming replaceable, 1960s Hollywood, and chock full of snappy dialogue, incredible performances, and both a sense of celebration and melancholy makes this one of the best movies about movies ever made.
John Wick Chapter 3
5 Apes (DH)
With next year’s Keanu-mas when they release both John Wick 4 and the Matrix 4 movies on the same day (yes, I will participate fully) the franchise that spawned the newfound love for all things Reeves is absolutely worth noting. Full of that comic book/video game world-building, odd but sensible rituals and oaths and rules plus plenty of head-shot, bloody violence, I sat in a Las Vegas theater with a crowd and we all gasped, laughed, and applauded at the absolute action-porn that is John Wick. Yes, these films are pornography of comic book violence and Reeves is our big-dicked John Holmes.
The Painted Bird
5 Apes (BD)
Those seeking a feel good shan’t see The Painted Bird, a bloodcurdling Holocaust drama seen through the eyes of a child. Petr Kotlár gives a robust performance as a nameless boy fighting to survive the violent societal breakdown in Eastern Europe. In doing so, he experiences one nightmare after another—each worse than the former—and loses hope in human kindness along the way. The beautifully shot black-and-white landscapes are a mirage for the routine abuse the boy encounters, leaving audiences as numb to it as he is by the film’s end.
The Irishman
4 Apes (DH)
Scorsese caps a triptych of films over decades with this much slower but no less magnificent look into the Italian Mafia from the inside/out. Goodfellas is an Irish kid’s ascent and is an explosive young man’s movie. Casino is a Jewish man’s climb up in the Mob and, while still explosive, is a bit more subdued and a decidedly middle-aged man’s film. The Irishman is an old man’s view, looking back, reliving awful and magnificent moments.
Together, the three films mark a masterwork in a genius director’s canon.
Ad Astra
5 Apes (BD)
Ad Astra takes a different approach than most solar-system journeys by exploring the man behind the suit. Brad Pitt is Roy McBride, an accomplished astronaut whose dedication to space has damaged his marriage. When called upon for secret mission to Neptune, the stoic McBride finds he’s more than a government robot, and his ascent to madness results in one of Pitt’s finest performances. Supported by a wonderfully played asshole in Tommy Lee Jones, Ad Astra is as much a family drama as it is a space adventure.
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
5 Apes (DH)
Sure, there were unanswered questions leftover and I really didn’t care for that kiss at the end but I loved this film from start to finish. Completing a story as massive and, in many ways, disconnected, was a tall order and I think Abrams and team did about as good a job as anyone could expect. This will be in rotation at least a couple more times in the next few weeks.
Marriage Story
5 Apes (BD)
Oscar-worthy performances from Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson drive Marriage Story, a clever, poignant narrative about divorce. Noah Baumbach’s behind-the-scenes view of the crippling situation separates it from movies alike, exploring factors beyond courtroom troubles and custody battles. Marriage Story empathetically—and even comically—shows both sides of the fight, and its effect will last far beyond the screen. Get your box of tissues ready.
Alita: Battle Angel
3 Apes (DH)
Not a Manga-Boy so the inconsistencies with the story and characters didn’t bother me. I thought this was the closest to watching a dramatic video game with some cool performances and great use of camera and technology. It was also the film I saw first as a resident of Las Vegas so that counts for something at least to me.
Parasite
5 Apes (BD)
Superbly written, shot and performed, Bong Joon-ho’s account of class discrimination in Korea is an electrifying and emotional masterpiece. What begins as a lighthearted story of two families—one rich, one destitute—spirals into shocking sequences of deception. It has every element of an instant classic: witty comedy, sexual tension, thrilling violence, social themes and a stunning finale that mirrors the horrors of reality. Calling it the best movie of 2019 isn’t enough: Parasite is one of the top films of the decade and transcends the arc of modern cinema.