Chris Churchill Saves the World | Lies! Lies! Lies!

By Chris Churchill

Lies that we believe that make all of us, with our various morals, goals, drives, and ambitions, feel better:

1. That person must have done something to deserve their misfortune.

2. That person must have made great choices to become wealthy.

3. You deserved the good things.

4. You did not deserve the bad things.

5. I wanted to hear that terrible story because I feel so much for the downtrodden.

6. Animals don’t care as much about pain and wanting to be alive as humans.

7. The world is entirely made up of good people and bad people.

8. I feel right so what I think must be right.

9. People in jail are less moral than people who aren’t.

10. People who are homeless, sick, or in jail always must have done something so wrong that they deserve their fate and that you, given the same upbringing, options, and circumstances would have done something different.

11. More education makes you smarter.

12. Intelligence is as important as capacity for love and compassion.

13. Billionaires somehow deserve to be billionaires.

14. Billionaires somehow worked 64,000 times harder or smarter than a person working for them making minimum wage.

15. Billionaires are somehow more able and deserving to control the billions of dollars they’re worth or the resources they are in control of, and that it is somehow good for an economy.

16. That the economy is the most important thing.

17. Billionaires are not the cause for the need for the charities that they get praised for donating to.

18.. That, given enough training, you could do that billionaire’s job.

19. That very successful people are somehow deserving of more respect than very unsuccessful people.

20. That, coincidentally, the only world view you can imagine having is the only one that’s right.

21. It was right to criticize someone’s intelligence based on their accent.

22. Bad guys never win.

23. Doing the right thing will be rewarded.

24. Good looking people probably have a hole in their heart. And for that reason, it’s good to be who you are.

25. Your kids are gorgeous.

26. Your parents are the best!

27. Your dog really gets you.

28. Other people’s opinions about theatre matters.

29. “This is the best Italian beef in the city of Chicago.”

30. That you know anything about Chicago, suburbanite.

31. That you know anything about Chicago, north sider.

32. There is no God.

33. There is a God.

34. The weather in your town is the craziest weather in America.

35. Religion is better for you than drugs.

36. Drugs aren’t religion.

37. Not all religions are cults.

38. Things need to change.

39. Everything is fine how it is.

40. You can choose to be happy.

41. Dinosaurs didn’t think about the afterlife.

42. 42

43. There are no aliens.

44. There have got to be aliens.

45. You have your health and that’s the most important thing.

46. Fifty is a good round number.

47. Forty-seven is fine.