I Believe… [The Benefits of ManScaping]
...that when the agenda is power, retribution, and replacement, your apology, no matter how well meant or expressed, is a waste of time. Apologize to those you wronged (as opposed to EVERYONE), make some attempt at restitution, and move on. You will be replaced but keeping your dignity and self respect is crucial to surviving the coming power switch.
...that the difference between 101˚ and 107˚ may seem inconsequential, it is not. I now know why people in the desert walk more slowly than those in the Midwest — to keep your face from literally melting off your skull.
...that if you’re upset about a black Ariel in the live-action remake of The Little Mermaid, your capacity to be upset about things that affect your life in no way whatsoever is remarkable.
...that, like celebrating my whiteness or heterosexualness or maleness is kind of stupid (I was born into them and have had free barriers in my life because of them), celebrating being American is likewise silly for me. An immigrant who came here under horrifying conditions, went through the citizenship process, and now lives here has more reason to celebrate America than I do.
...that manscaping in Chicago was hipster and an attempt for a middle-aged man to attract younger women but manscaping in Las Vegas is merely an attempt to keep my balls from boiling like Georgia peanuts.
