Suspicious New Forum Member @HelloFellowYoungLadyTaylorSwiftFans

by Joe Janes

Since soon-to-be former President Trump’s expulsion from many of the internet’s most powerful platforms, it is believed he has been attempting to infiltrate other popular message boards.

Here are some suspicious examples taken from the The Taylor Swift Fan Forum.

From the “Introduce Yourself Thread”

Name: Donika T.

Age: A very healthy 16. Doctors say I am the healthiest 16-year-old to be a Taylor Swift fan.

Location: Washington, DC

Birthday: June 14, 1946

Favorite Song: I don’t want to get into it. She is my favorite artist, okay? Taylor Swift’s music means a lot to me. I like all her songs equally. She’s just incredible. Her music is special. Let’s leave it at that. 

Response to a post from @TexasSwiftieTina

@HelloFellowYoungLadyTaylorSwiftFans says… “I love Texas. Texas is great. They have many Alamos there. Getting over a breakup is hard, @TexasSwiftieTina. I usually move on before the whole thing is over. That guy who broke up with you is a loser. Probably ANTIFA. I used to only date republicans and now I only date people who worship me. I don’t care what color they are, white, tan, very white, I don’t care. Taylor writes songs about breakups. That’s what democrats should do. Or republican governors that I don’t like anymore. Write a song and move on.” 

Response to @Andy90210

@HelloFellowYoungLadyTaylorSwiftFans says… “I had the China flu, too, @Andy90210. It’s no big deal. Just like the flu. Go to a good hospital and they’ll give you the best drugs to take. You’re young. You’ll be fine. People complain about how many people are getting sick and dying and forget that it would be much worse if Trump had not taken SWIFT action when it showed up in the US.” 

Response to @4EverSwiftie

@HelloFellowYoungLadyTaylorSwiftFans says… “You’re right. It is a shame that you can’t see her in concert right now. You know who you can go see live is Donald Trump. His rallies are the biggest in the world. People say maybe even more fans than a Swift concert, I don’t know. Go see Trump. Make Music Great Again!”

Response to questions “Why Do You Love Taylor Swift?”

@HelloFellowYoungLadyTaylorSwiftFans says… “I love Taylor Swift because she reminds me of Donald Trump. She is a very strong leader. She wants to build the wall and drain the music swamp. Swift will fight for this country and overturn the election results. Swift isn’t weak, like democrats or fake news or Mitt Romney. Swift 2024!”