Keeping The Faith

by Wayne Lerner

PART 1 

6:10 am 

The organ announced the opening of the morning mass with a soaring C Major chord followed by the rumbling B flat bass note played on the pedals by Sr. Agnes. Younger than the other Sisters by almost two decades and the last of the new recruits, Agnes had a bit of playfulness in her heart. Every so often, she would veer from traditional religious demeanor much to the dismay of the older Sisters. 

She was always the first on the dance floor at the hospital banquets, hopping around to the beat of the DJ’s music. And, when no one was around, Agnes would sneak into the chapel and play her favorite music on the organ, Gershwin and Scott Joplin. The other Sisters would hear the music as it reverberated throughout the Motherhouse and just roll their eyes. 

“It’s that Agnes, again,” they would say with a disparaging look on their faces, speaking in their mother tongue which they knew Agnes did not understand. 

As if Agnes knew they were talking about her, she would end her personal concert with Malotte’s The Lord’s Prayer which made the Sisters go silent and ask for forgiveness for thinking bad thoughts. Agnes finished the emotional song, sat still for a moment in the majestic chapel, and thanked the Lord for the blessings she had received throughout her life. 

After all, the Superior, Sr. Theresa had recruited Agnes to the congregation and knew her tendencies well. She always encouraged Agnes to bring the Lord’s prayers to all concerned in the ways she knew best even though some of the more conservative Sisters were sure to disapprove. 

“Blind adherence to tradition does not help us find and make new friends,” Sr. Theresa liked to say. 


Sr. Theresa was deep in thought as she entered the chapel. 

“Today’s the day. If our prayers are ever going to be answered by the Lord, it has to be today. Without the support of the Cardinal and his Bishops, we’re done. Our legacy will be finished and our hospital will be no more. Almost a hundred years of toil, and for what?”

Theresa sighed, Her shoulders slumped down. Thoughts flooded her mind and, with them, consequences. 

“People from miles around will have no place to get care. How can they let this happen? Why are they so shortsighted? Sure, we’re asking for something out of the ordinary but we’re still going to be true to our faith, to our religious directives, to our ethics. We’re doing what’s necessary in order to keep our institution alive.” 

Theresa sat straight up as she looked around at her beloved chapel with new-found strength. 

“I’m going to say extra prayers today.I know the Sisters are doing the same. It is their hard work which will be for naught if the Cardinal succumbs to those who don’t want us to change.” 

6:30 am 

The door to his personal chapel squeaked as it opened and then slammed shut as the Cardinal and his assistant, Father Paul, entered for morning prayers. 

“Oh my God,” said the Cardinal. “With all the money we spend around here, can’t they get this fixed? Between the door, the lack of reliable heat in the winter and the squeaky floors, all I want is peace and quiet as I prepare for my daily prayers. I would be better off in the Brothers’ residence next door rather than in this Gothic monstrosity. Who needs a place this big and old? All I need is a bed, a meal and a place to pray.” 

Father Paul nodded in agreement. 

“If simplicity is good enough for the Pope, why not the Cardinal of Chicago?” said the Cardinal. Status, prestige, power don’t contribute to a man’s moral standing, values and actions do. There are many who don’t see the world as I do. And some of them will be here for the Bishops’ lunch today.” 

Father Paul broke the Cardinal’s train of thought. 

“Your Eminence, the meeting later today is going to be especially difficult. The agenda is replete with arduous issues, which churches to close and which parishes to merge. None of them have the resources to remain open by themselves anymore. What’s worse is that they are all in the underserved neighborhoods.” 

“How can we retain or even increase the number of people of color to our faith if we can’t help them keep their churches open?” replied the Cardinal. “That’s problem enough but the final issue today, that one, will be the most contentious.” 

“That’s for sure, sir,” said Father Paul. “The new partnership the hospital wants to enter into with 

that Federal clinic system has never been addressed before. Are you ready for this, sir?. They are asking for a lot even though they have the best of intentions.” 

The Cardinal looked down as his right hand began to shake. 

“The tremors are coming more frequently,” he said to Father Paul. “Everyone can see them. Some will recognize it as a sign of weakness. They will want to take advantage of my condition.” 

“It pains me to say this but some your most formidable adversaries are not outside of the faith but inside,” replied Father Paul. “Several will be sitting around your table today. One, in particular, wants your job and will do all he can to get it.” 

The Cardinal nodded in agreement. “Yes, I know. I’m conservative but he’s at an extreme. There’s no gray for him. You are of the faith and abide by the rules to the letter or you don’t. And, what’s worse, I suspect he has racist and prejudicial biases based on his offhanded comments. That’s not a formula for a populist Cardinal.” 

“The problem is he carries a lot of weight with the other Bishops,” said Father Paul. “Many listen to him because they agree with his stance on Church proceedings. Others are just afraid of him.” 

The Cardinal sighed. “I just hope I have the wherewithal to make the right decision and stand tall for those who need our support more than ever before.” 

“Anything else I can do for you this morning, Eminence?” asked Father Paul. “No, thank you. Please leave me. I have much to consider.” 

Father Paul left the chapel as the Cardinal’s mind drifted to the prayers of the day. As he did every morning, he asked for forgiveness for recently committed sins. 

“Many would be surprised that I ask for the Lord to forgive me my frailties during my prayers. Cardinals commit sins. We are but human. So are those around me. They sin too but they rationalize their grab for power as being good for the Church.’ 

The Cardinal paused to look through the stained glass skylight to the stars which still shined bright in the early morning sky. 

“Lord, I could use your help today. Please send me a message on which road to follow. Perhaps the clue will come from an unlikely source. Or maybe, just maybe, this is a burden I have to carry myself and discern the right path to take, regardless of the consequences. There is much at stake.” 

The Cardinal crossed himself and slowly rose from his knees, his hands shaking but still strong. He straightened his clothes, said another prayer and proceeded out of the chapel to begin his day. 

6:42 am 

The static from the alarm clock erupted from the speakers as it tuned in WBBM-NewsRadio. In his slumber, David heard a loud voice sing out, “Good morning, Chicago. It's a glorious December day. Sunny, windy but cold… “ 

His hand smashed down on the top of the alarm clock as he tried to reach the snooze button to grab an extra 10 minutes of sleep. Looking at the time, he realized more sleep was not an option today. He stretched out his muscles trying to force circulation throughout his body. As he looked down towards his toes, he saw a rise in the cover sheet. 

“Oh, good morning, buddy. Are you feeling a bit lonely these days? I can understand that. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Well, you’re gonna have to wait a bit longer. Got a tough day ahead of me today.” 

David looked around his barren bedroom which gave him pause. 48 years old and living in a hovel as more than half his pay went to his ex-wife. 

“Jesus! What a shit hole. I sure would like to live downtown like many of my friends. But where am I working? For a hospital which takes care of the poor. I love their Mission and I make a decent living but to what end? C’mon David, stop being sorry for yourself. Focus!” 

Today was critical to the future of the hospital. They had to get the Cardinal’s permission for the radical partnership they had put forward. It was the last option they had to right the ship and bring new patients to the hospital. 

“The Cardinal is not leaning in our direction. We are proposing a precedent which changes the way which we enforce the Ethical and Religious Directives. There are several Bishops who don’t agree with this change. They like things the way they are even if it means schools close...or parishes or hospitals.” 

David paused to reflect on the situation, its complexities and the strategy they had developed. Then reality hit him. 

“And I know It really rubs them that a non-Catholic CEO is proposing this change. I should have gotten a job in the suburbs. I’d be making a ton more money and wouldn’t be living like this. Stop dreaming. These are the cards you chose to play. Maybe I’ll go to heaven because of the good we are doing. Then you’ll get out of this hovel.” 

David smiled at that thought, dragged himself out of bed and went into the tiny bathroom. The water in the shower’s pipes squealed as the water began to trickle out of the sediment-filled shower head. 

“Shit!” he said out loud. “Now, I’ve got to wait 15 minutes for the water to warm up. I don’t know how much more I can take! The fucking landlord refuses to do anything about this shithole!” 

He leaned over and put his head in his hands as he began to feel even more sorry for himself than he usually did. Just then, the water stopped squealing. He knew there would be just enough hot water for a quick shower and shave so he had better get his ass in gear. 20 minutes later, David was dressed in his best blue suit with a matching, conservative striped tie and polished shoes as he knew first impressions were important. Then, another reality hit him. 

“Bishop Piwonski knows who I am and doesn’t like anything about me. The other Bishops only know what they have heard from him. We are fortunate Father Garrity has been working with us on this change and has the Cardinal’s ear as his Vicar for Healthcare. Garrity likes me even though I am not of his faith. He knows the Sisters and I have bonded over our concerns for our community. We have been resolute in our efforts to save the hospital.” 

David put on his overcoat and went outside to see his car covered in snow. Muttering to himself, he swept the snow off his car, got in and began his 60 minute drive, first, to the hospital and then, down the block, to the Motherhouse. 

11:45 am 

The day was gloomy with the remnants of the last snowfall strewn across the steps of the Motherhouse, the lawns and streets. 

“Typical crappy, December weather in Chicago,” David said to himself. “I hope this isn”t an omen.” 

David saw her approach the door to the Motherhouse and began to get out of the car when she waved him off. She always waved him off. She was one of the most independent people he had ever met. 

Sr. Theresa was dressed in her usual uniform. Gray dress and top with her face framed in a white wimple. Her diminutive stature and gentle demeanor hid seven and a half decades of inner strength, experience and knowledge of health care. But it didn’t hide her service to her congregation and commitment to her Lord. If there was a biased bone in her body, no one could find it. Different from some of the other Sisters whose prejudices were clear just below the surface, Sr. Theresa lived her life believing in the goodness of every person. And she showed it 

by her behavior. Protesting against voting restrictions, striving for fair housing laws, investing in Catholic healthcare and education for all and time for prayer. 

If she had a failing, David couldn’t find it. Plus she rooted for the right team. Sr. Theresa was an avid White Sox fan. She never said a bad word about the Cubs but he knew she silently rejoiced when the Sox won and the Cubs lost. 

Sr. Theresa took her time walking down the stairs to make sure she didn’t lose her footing. David got up from his seat to open the door for her but she waved him off once again. She slid into the front passenger seat and closed the door without making a sound. 

Putting on her seatbelt, she turned to David, smiled and said “Good morning, Mr. CEO, are we ready for our adventure today?” 

“Yes, Sister,” David said with a smile. “I’m ready. There aren’t too many tomorrows for our hospital without implementing our plan. I think I’ve got a strategy to handle the meeting with the Cardinal and his Bishops but I’m going to ask you to follow my lead when the meeting starts.” 

“OK,“ she said, “but let’s go over that approach one more time. The Cardinal’s decision is critical to the future of the hospital and our legacy.” 

“That’s the story we have to tell, Sister,” said David. 

“Yes. Our congregation, the Sisters, have worked for almost a century to bring education and healthcare to the poor and underserved. We can’t afford to let that die now,” said Sister Theresa. 

“After introductions, Father Garrity will take the lead,” said David. “His influence with the Cardinal along with the approach we will take should make for a forceful but tactful presentation. The Bishops have received our proposal in advance. They know what path we want to take. When we are done, they will see we have no other viable alternative to keep the hospital alive.” 

Sr. Theresa bowed her head and was silent for a few moments. 

David had seen this before. 

“She’s saying a prayer. I hope it is a powerful one.” 

David and Sister Theresa knew the hospital was down to two days of cash and didn't have any realistic options. They had looked at many alternatives, for profit and not-for-profit. No organization wanted a “mission” hospital or responsibility for a hospital which treated the poor and underserved. There were no suitors, no partners, who were willing to work with them or take on the hospital. The State needed them to stay open but couldn’t allocate funds to just them without making enemies with the other hospitals. The Sisters, dwindling in numbers and aging in place, had spent the last 10 years trying to discern a solution. 

Sister Theresa looked up from her prayers. 

“Before you arrived, David, we loaned the hospital money when it looked like it couldn’t make payroll. We are out of ideas. That’s why this meeting is so important. You have to lead this rescue plan. There’s no one else who can do the job!” 

David was quiet as he took in the overwhelming responsibility facing him. He knew that the Sisters had depended on his executive skills for the past 6 years just to keep the hospital afloat. With the Board’s help, they had done just that, kept it alive but on life support. Now, the end was in sight and it wasn’t pretty, for the Sisters or the community. He finally understood why he had come to this hospital and not stayed in the suburbs. Some things are just more important than money or where he lived. 

“I think our plan has legs, Sister,” he said. “It’s a bit of a stretch and may require the Cardinal and his henchmen to think beyond their normal boundaries and prejudices, but it’s doable. And it will preserve the Catholicity of the hospital.” 

“Legs? What do you mean? Do you think the plan can stand on its own? How will we convince them that, if we merge with another system, not of our faith, but of our mission, that we will continue to bring the Church to the faithful, as a Catholic institution?” 

David explained the thinking behind his approach. “The plan dictates that we draft a special agreement with any new partner which allows them to fulfill their responsibilities set down in the law and their bylaws, but still abides by the Ethical and Religious Directives. If a woman needs counseling for reproductive services, with the help of Father Garrity, we have drafted language the partner must agree to use to refer the patient outside of our hospital. That way, all parties have satisfied their obligations and we have stayed true to our Catholicity requirements.” 

“Do you think we can convince the Bishops, especially you know who, that we are not decimating our obligations by using this technique?” Sr. Theresa asked. “If the three of us can assure them that everything we are proposing is in line with the Directives, then maybe, just maybe, the Cardinal will decide in our favor.” 

“That’s what we are banking on, Sister,” David replied. “We are out of options. If we don’t succeed today, you and I both know that we’ll close our doors on March 15th. The community and 1200 employees depend on our survival. The proposal says it clearly. Father Garrity and I will emphasize these facts in our presentation.” 

David and Theresa knew they had to depend on the goodwill of the Cardinal and his ability to see their reality without succumbing to Church politics. He had to recommend to Rome that this agreement was ok to sign. In order to get to this outcome, the Cardinal may have to overrule some or all of his Bishops. 

“We’ve interacted with the Cardinal enough to know he has a big heart for his faithful and the underserved,” said David. “He has to convince himself this plan accomplishes a greater purpose without diminishing the Catholic protocols all of us live by.” 

“You’re right, David,” Sister sighed. “I just wish we had more support around the table. Even our Bishop will be silent in Bishop Piwonski’s presence.” 

“Don’t underestimate Father Garrity, Sister,” David said. “I talk with him almost every day, including this morning on the drive in. He knows how we feel but he remains upbeat about the possibility of this getting approved. Maybe he has a pipeline to the Big Guy,” David joked to release some of the tension in the car. 

Sr. Theresa didn’t respond but bowed her head in silent prayer. 

David looked over at her with admiration and respect. Then he said a prayer, his favorite from long ago. 

“May the Lord bless us and keep us. May the Lord...”


PART 2

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I Believe... [Suppress Those Emotions, Men]