The Alex Jones Go FU** Me Page

Most unnecessary megaphone ever.

by Joe Janes

I’M USING MY MEGAPHONE ON MY VOICE-TO-TEXT APP TO TELL YOU ALL THAT THE LIBS ARE TRYING TO DESTROY THIS COUNTRY, WHICH YOU ALREADY KNEW, THANKS TO ME, ALEX JONES AND INFOWARS. THE BATTLE BY RUSSIA FOR THE LIBERATION OF UKRAINE IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE BATTLE AGAINST ME AND THE TRUTH.

IT’S DO OR DIE TIME. I CAN EITHER DO DOING OR DIE DYING. YOU CAN COUNT ON ME FOR DO DOING.

THANKS TO THE CORRUPTION OF THE COURTS BY LIBERAL “JUSTICE” – WOW! THIS APP IS GREAT. IT TOTALLY UNDERSTOOD I WAS BEING SARCASTIC AND USED AIR QUOTES – THEY ARE COMING AFTER ME FOR MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN COURT FINES AND FEES. YOU CAN THANK THE INSIDIOUS MINDS BEHIND THE SANDY HOOK “SHOOTING” FOR THAT. 

GO FUND ME WON’T ALLOW ME TO START A PAGE THERE BECAUSE THEY’D RATHER PROTECT THE LIB LIARS. SO HERE’S MY GO FU** ME PAGE WHERE YOU, TRUE AMERICANS, CAN SUPPORT YOURS TRULY, IN OUR FIGHT TO SAVE OUR COUNTRY.

HERE’S HOW IT WORKS. YOU GIVE ME MONEY, I GIVE YOU STUFF THAT I HAVE LYING AROUND MY GARAGE. I’VE GOT BOOKS, FILMS, T-SHIRTS, SUPPLEMENTS, AIR FILTRATION SYSTEMS, WATER FILTRATION SYSTEMS, OTHER STUFF IN BOXES THAT I HAVEN’T OPENED SINCE THE DIVORCE, OLD CLOTHES, WORKOUT EQUIPMENT, FLAGS, GUNS, KOOZIES, READY-MADE MEALS YOU CAN EAT WHILE CAMPING OR SITTING ALONE IN THE DARK IN YOUR FURNITURE-LESS BUNGALO, STUFF I BOUGHT FOR THE UNDERGROUND BUNKER MY WIFE WOULDN’T LET ME BUILD. THOUSANDS OF GREAT ITEMS. YOU NAME IT. 

YOU CAN EVEN BE A SPONSOR OF INFORWARS. JUST GIVE ME MONEY AND I’LL SAY YOUR NAME ON THE AIR. BOOM! EVERYONE WILL KNOW YOU’RE A PATRIOT. HOW ABOUT THAT? GIVE ME ENOUGH MONEY AND YOU CAN ASK QUESTIONS ON MY SHOW. I’VE GOT A GUEST COMING UP WHO SAYS THE HOLOCAUST WAS JUST A GIANT FLASH MOB EVENT DESIGNED TO MAKE THE JEWS SYMPATHETIC AND MAKE MORE JEWS, NOT LESS. GIVE ME ENOUGH MONEY AND YOU CAN BE MY GUEST! I’D LOVE TO PICK YOUR BRAIN ABOUT HOW JUICE BOXES MAKE KIDS GAY.

THE CIVIL WAR HUNGRY DEMOCRATS WANT TO SILENCE YOU. THEY ARE TRYING TO TAKE DOWN THE LEADING VOICE OF RESISTANCE. ME. THEN YOU. THEN YOUR CHILDREN. WE’RE THE ONLY LINE OF DEFENSE KEEPING THE DEMOCRATS FROM TOUCHING YOUR KIDS WHILE TALKING ABOUT SLAVERY AND MAKING THEM GAY.

GIVE WHAT YOU CAN AND MORE. SAVE THIS COUNTRY. SAVE YOUR FUTURE. SAVE THE FROGS FROM TURNING GAY FROM TAP WATER. NOW! 

THIS IS ME BEFORE TAKING ONE OF MY WEIGHT LOSS SUPPLEMENTS AND THEN 45 SECONDS LATER! BUY SOME NOW!