I Believe... [That Third Time Charm Stuff is Bullshit]

By Don Hall

...that the Billy Joel ode The Stranger is perhaps the most prescient song ever written in history.

...that the key to aging successfully is to take the hits life offers and somehow not become bitter.

...that it’s incredibly difficult to appreciate a wonderful meal if it ends with a pile of shit on a banquet plate. The final course determines the meal.

...that, while my maleness and whiteness has left me with a number of unearned advantages, I have absolutely earned my trust issues like a boss.

...that Castaway is a metaphor for divorce and I’m going to WalMart today and buying a Wilson volleyball. Also, I have an idea for a couple of sequels where Tom Hanks never learns to stop flying over the Pacific ocean.

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The Improbable Dangers of Candle Wax