I Believe... [In Corporal Punishment]

...that if your business plan is contingent upon holiday sales to survive, you aren’t a particularly good business planner unless you own one of those Spirit of Halloween franchises.

...that low-skill, easy jobs are not designed to be a lifelong career, they’re for high school kids. If you’re an adult and have developed no other marketable skills than making coffee or frying french fries, you will not be getting a 401K don’t really deserve one.

...that adults who truly believe that words are violence were never slapped in the mouth for talking back or walloped with a belt for bullying their sibling.

...that among the activities I find the most joy from are both making people laugh and feeding them.

...that if we are told we can no longer use the term ‘master’ to refer to anything due to the generational trauma of the descendants of chattle slavery yet we’re fine calling the day after Thanksgiving ‘Black Friday’ perhaps the postmodern policing of terms is sort of random and arbitrary and thus wholly useless.