The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - Project Veritas
James O'Keefe. Not undercover.
Project Veritas Weekly Staff Meeting
Wednesday, November 29, 2017 – 10:00am
Conference Room
Recorded on a hidden microphone in an anonymous staffer’s cufflinks.
The camera is inside a danish.
The footage will not be available until said danish passes through James O’Keefe’s
system and can be retrieved.
- James called the meeting to discuss the recent reveal of one of our investigators working undercover to expose the hypocrisy of the MSN (mainstream media) by feeding a false story about rape and abortion and teen pregnancy and Roy Moore to The Washington Post. The Post said our operative’s story had inconsistencies and they suspected she was working with us. You know what’s full of inconsistencies? The Washington Post. Boom! Our caper was not a failure. They say they care about bringing sexual predators to justice and they wouldn’t even believe our agent’s story. That’s the truth, people. The Washington Post doesn’t want to believe the victims. They should be ashamed. If there’s anything we discovered in our intel, it's that I should always be the one going undercover. Never send a woman to do a man’s job unless she is accompanied by a man and he is in charge.
- Next project! Bring Down Hillary Clinton! It’s time she answered for her crimes and that we show the real Hilary to America. I will put on a fake mustache and arrive at her house with a pizza. I will cut two tiny holes in the pizza box. One for a camera and one for my penis, which will also be wearing a mustache. I will seduce her and show what a fraud she is. I’m with her? More like, I’m with her-pocrisy. Our pillow talk will include the truth about Benghazi and child sex rings. And if Bill is there, all the better. I’m willing to give myself to a patriotic three-way to find the truth.
- Let’s put this one in the caper pipeline! Operation Poke-a-hotness. I will wear a mustache and show up at Elizabeth Warren’s office as a cable guy there to install free cable. If she accepts the free cable, it will reveal the truth of what a hypocrite she is and how easily she can be bought. I will also seduce her, or, as I like to say, deregulate her.
- Who brought the danishes? They suck.
- Finally. Al Franken. So far, his groping has been low level with little evidence. That’s going to change. I will put on a dress and fake breasts and set up a meeting with him to discuss, I don’t know, women’s equal rights to be treated fairly in the workplace and on fairgrounds with reproductive vaginas or something. Something he’d really go for. I’ll show up, camera in one boob, microphone in the other, and get footage of him seducing me! I’m quite fetching. Especially in my fishnets.
- Why is your purse on the table? Nobody puts their purse on the table in a meeting or in a restaurant unless they’re making a secret recording. Are you recording me? No one records me without my permission!
- At this point, James took the staffer’s purse and threw it out the sixth-floor window of the conference room. It hit someone getting out of their car in a handicapped parking spot, but, so what, they're already handicapped. I think the staffer who owned the purse was recording him. You just can’t trust some people! I’m glad he didn’t notice my cufflinks. Who the hell wears cufflinks? Especially with a polo shirt.
James O'Keefe. Undercover.