The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Trump’s Biggly Funeral Plans
Then take my body and put me behind the wheel of a golf cart strapped to a rocket ship and have the Space Force blast me to the stars.
![I Believe... [Repentance is Like Shitting in One Hand and Wishing in the Other]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1535028177113-5H2C51IQDFPVRGXB3Q72/63D3D89E-A10F-476D-AACA-F8F058399C12.JPG)
I Believe... [Repentance is Like Shitting in One Hand and Wishing in the Other]
...that human actions are no more evil than a hurricane’s. We assign evil to problems as if repentance will solve them. Contrition is no more helpful to fixing society than looking at the floodwaters and winds and falling to your knees to pray and blame someone/something for them.
Christmas is a time for giving, being with family and friends, and hating every other asshole out there in the shops and on the roads also trying to spread joy and share in the Christmas spirit. Similarly, Hanukkah is a time for Jewish people to desperately try to feel relevant during Christmastime.