I Shot My Dog in the Eye and All He did was Love Me More
“I broke him. I broke Eddie. His eye is loose in his head. He’ll never be able to take a cute photo again. He’s a freak! He’s broken! He’s probably blind. This is why… Do you see? This is why I can’t be a father. I’m going to break my kids and I… I can’t handle that. I can’t handle this. OH GOD! Eddie! I’m so sorry! Katie! I’m so sorry! I’m SO SORRY!”
...that, if taken through the lens of truck stops and gas stations throughout the Midwest, Reese’s has taken over the world.