To My Son, I’m Sorry You’re Reading This
David Himmel David Himmel David Himmel David Himmel

To My Son, I’m Sorry You’re Reading This

Boy, that headline sounds like the first line in a suicide note. No, no, Harrison, my son, this is not a suicide note. It’s an apology letter. Or an explanation. Maybe a clarification. I’m not sure what your mother has told you, or what you’ve already heard or read, but I feel it is imperative that you have some background, context really, on what you may have already heard or read, or undoubtedly will.It's only right that a son knows who his father is — the kind of man his father is.

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I Shot My Dog in the Eye and All He did was Love Me More
David Himmel David Himmel David Himmel David Himmel

I Shot My Dog in the Eye and All He did was Love Me More

“I broke him. I broke Eddie. His eye is loose in his head. He’ll never be able to take a cute photo again. He’s a freak! He’s broken! He’s probably blind. This is why… Do you see? This is why I can’t be a father. I’m going to break my kids and I… I can’t handle that. I can’t handle this. OH GOD! Eddie! I’m so sorry! Katie! I’m so sorry! I’m SO SORRY!”

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My Unborn Child is an Inconsiderate Little Jerk and I Can’t Wait to Get My Hands On Him
David Himmel David Himmel David Himmel David Himmel

My Unborn Child is an Inconsiderate Little Jerk and I Can’t Wait to Get My Hands On Him

So, here we are. Waiting. Unsure of what to do. We keep doing all the things that can start and speed up labor like walking and massaging and having sex with spicy food. At this point, our lives are completely out of our hands and at the whims of the ungrateful terrorist holding my wife’s body and my need for a second scotch hostage.

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