American Shithole #49 | Welcome Back, Cohen
“He is a racist. He is a Conman. He is a cheat.”
- Michael Cohen, on Donald Trump during his opening statement.
“Damn, save that for your closer, Michael!” I blurted at the television.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting — Witch Hunt!
Trump: Remember last week when everyone was freaking out about me saying n*gg*r on a tape somewhere?
Kelly: Every week makes me nostalgic for the week before.
American Shithole #16 — The Lord of the Rings and Beautiful Things
I foolishly thought I was done being surprised by this embarrassing presidential failure of epic proportions only America could muster, but we have dropped trou for all the world to see — and the festering boils on our wrinkled, flaccid democracy are cause for retching from here to Timbuktu.
American Shithole #13 — Sean Hannity's Pain Is My Coping Mechanism
It was still a beautiful day; immediately made all the more beatific, as Sean Hannity’s universe was suddenly shat upon by life’s equivalent of an elephant anus to the face, at point blank range.
American Shithole #12 — Michael Cohen: Tain't Misbehavin'
Not enough people are making jokes about the taint team, by the way. I was expecting more taint humor this week, but all we got were assholes. “More Taint, Less Asshole” is my new motto. I think it would make a fine t-shirt with an inappropriate image of our disaster-in-chief.
Christmas is a time for giving, being with family and friends, and hating every other asshole out there in the shops and on the roads also trying to spread joy and share in the Christmas spirit. Similarly, Hanukkah is a time for Jewish people to desperately try to feel relevant during Christmastime.