![[Revisited] American Shithole #25 — Can the Dying Mule Become the Butterfly?](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1536676830756-VVK1IUJ1KRNLHLECNAAF/American+Shithole+Column+Header.JPG)
[Revisited] American Shithole #25 — Can the Dying Mule Become the Butterfly?
We are still in the age of clutching things. We humans like to clutch. Our belongings, our pearls. Our ideas. Our instincts to gather and protect were selected long ago — so the idea that resource collecting is at the heart of our concerns today, is a tough pickle to swallow, compounded by the behavior’s hidden influence on all other human doctrine.
Him, Too
Almost everyone has a Me, Too story. This one isn’t mine.
American Shithole #56 | Bill Barr: Bringing the Bar Down a Notch
As I watched the barrage of questions our representatives dutifully prepared, and the ease with which a professional litigator of Barr’s caliber deflected them, I realized that the dream of America as the land of the free and the home of the brave, is nearly dead.
American Shithole #55 | Who the Fuck is Candace Owens?
Black fucking Nazis, you say? Will wonders never cease? I tell you, this administration’s ability to unleash every festering boil of stupidity in this country, is absolutely astounding.
Trump is the Pied Piper of Batshit Crazy.
American Shithole #54 | Let the Frankening of Biden Begin
My least favorite faux-left cabal are the #MeToo rage junkies that ended Senator Al Franken’s career (as progressive a voice for women and equality as there ever has been in Congress) — and now you’ve got your sights on Biden.
Seriousy? It’s the END OF FUCKING DAYS and your priority is to go after Uncle Joe “Huggy” Biden?
American Shithole #53 | The Mueller Colbert Report
It’s been a rough week for progressives, mostly because fucking democrats can’t wait to fall on their fucking swords at any given opportunity. Hey, democrats; a bit of advice: before you Seppuku, how about we see the actual Mueller Report first?
American Shithole #52 | Vacations, Part Two: LA Waste
My first word on Los Angeles asphalt was a despondent “fuck.”
American Shithole #51 | Venezuela and the White Paper
When I look at the photographs pouring in from Caracas — images of a society teetering on the edge of collapse — I can’t help but think “this is all of us, in ten years; and there’s not a fucking thing we can do about it.”
American Shithole #50 | Kirstjen Nielsen: Deadeyes Over Dead Kids
“They’ve come all this way, thousands of miles across hostile territory, and we’ve raped them, and murdered them,” I thought.
“And this fucking cunt came to congress to rustle some fucking papers, and fumble some fucking answers.” I seethed.
I am fucking livid — and thankfully I’m not the only one.
American Shithole #49 | Welcome Back, Cohen
“He is a racist. He is a Conman. He is a cheat.”
- Michael Cohen, on Donald Trump during his opening statement.
“Damn, save that for your closer, Michael!” I blurted at the television.
American Shithole #48 | Feel the (Rug) Bern
For me though, I remember the feeling I had when a true progressive — one completely untethered from the klepto-capitalist clutches of billionaires, boardrooms, and banks (That’s a Lois Lane level of alliteration!) — was running against Hillary Clinton; and winning.
American Shithole #47 | Red Fish, Blue Fish, Fuck Fish, You Fish?
But first, before they throw themselves like chum to sharks, every democrat must apologize.
Right. I can see why they’re all lining up to get it out of the way early. The hypocrisy of singling out moments of stupidity every well-meaning democrat must now say they are “sorry” for, while this criminally incompetent president sits atop a mountain of bullshit, deceit, cruelty and treachery, is likely hard for them to stomach.
It’s like comparing parking tickets to pedophilia.
Take the gloves off, Democratic Party, and start swinging like you’re fighting for your country’s life — because you are. Stop fucking Gillibrand-ing each other; stay fucking unified.
Remember the Al Franken!
American Shithole #46 | The Beautiful Things: PBS
Look, I’m a statist. I’m hardwired for cooperation. I like societies. I like the things societies provide. I don’t think it would be better if society collapsed and I had to shit in the woods every day.
When I think of PBS, I think of the very best our society has to offer.
PBS: Because nobody really likes to shit in the woods.
American Shithole #45 | D Minus Still Passes, Right Roger Stone?
Aliens only stop here when their intergalactic junker breaks down, or when they’ve foolishly run out of space gas — so every once in a long while, one of them gets stranded.
Here’s what I’m thinking… I’m pretty sure they left us Roger Stone.
American Shithole #44 | No Darling for Disinterested Davos
Luckily, American Shithole managed to sneak one of our top investigative reporters into the World Economic Forum — where a surprising number of billionaires felt comfortable expressing their complete lack of empathy on the record. Here are a few choice statements:
American Shithole #43 | GOP Senators are the Embodiment of Cowardice
I hope we get to hold them down and carve a giant “T” into their thick fucking skulls before this is all over — although I imagine history has far worse in store for them. The “T” is for Traitor, of course, although that word will become synonymous with Trump in due time.
American Shithole #42 | Three Really Old Vampires Frightened and Bored the New Vampires in America Today
Wow, what a snooze-fest from all three of those (in)dentured fossils. I’ve seen livelier performances from Keanu Reeves in a sadness meme.
American Shithole #41 | 2018: Year in the Rear
Let’s get this out of the way: 2018 blew horrid chunks of shame and embarrassment all across the dance floor — not unlike a certain drunk freshman I can recall over-imbibing at a Syracuse sorority party he had no business attending — certainly requiring decades of scouring to remove the stench.
Well, the party’s almost over, and it’s time we all started sobering up.
American Shithole #40 | Christmas Tidings 2018
Oddly, I love Christmastime, which may be weird for an atheist, but not uncommon. I have plenty of atheist and agnostic friends that love Christmas too. I have fond memories of the season, which I am sure accounts for more than half my favor for the yearly celebration — I mean, what’s not to like about holiday music, gift-giving, mashed potatoes (with lots of gravy), friends, family, and the general merriment of yuletide cheer?
American Shithole #39 | 2018 Year in the Rear (Preview)
Unfortunately, not everyone made it. I know one little girl separated from her parents by Border Patrol that isn’t going to find any of the 2018 Year in the Rear review humorous. Which one, you ask? Well, the dead one, of course — the dead girl.
Happy holidays!
Christmas is a time for giving, being with family and friends, and hating every other asshole out there in the shops and on the roads also trying to spread joy and share in the Christmas spirit. Similarly, Hanukkah is a time for Jewish people to desperately try to feel relevant during Christmastime.