Let’s Toast to Booze!

Human beings began creating fermented beverages some twenty thousand years ago. Alcohol has been a staple of the economies and cultures of every civilization since the advent of agriculture. It is, in part, why we are here. Today there are six hundred bottles of alcohol for every human being on earth, which means that statistically, you... are beer? I don’t know how statistics work.

Now, is any of that accurate? I don’t know. I ran out of time today and didn’t look it up. But by the end of my time here, I will convince you that booze is far superior to its slacker cousin weed. To get us started, I’d like to propose a drinking game. Every time you think I make a good point, take a drink. Every time you think I make a bad point, take two drinks, and you’ll start to realize I was right all along.