A Few Pieces of Unsolicited Advice to Young Prince Harry Himmel
I'm old. I mean, way older than I look. I'm older than your grandparents even though I look younger than your dad. Old can mean decrepit and gassy but it can, in the best cases, mean wise. So, below is a stab at the latter for you.
...that, if taken through the lens of truck stops and gas stations throughout the Midwest, Reese’s has taken over the world.