Elf in the Crossfire: Santa Ain't a Paramedic
As I'm parked, people are slowing for the light and staring me down in the outfit, which is essentially a bright red slutty elf costume. For tis' the season for idiots to spend money on a fancy bike cab ride since sleighs are pretty hard to come by around here.
...that, if taken through the lens of truck stops and gas stations throughout the Midwest, Reese’s has taken over the world.