On Turning 44 | It’s Time to Grow Up
So tonight, at the time of this writing, I am two hours shy of my forty-fourth birthday and I’m going to dip into the past just a bit, just to the last year, to consider what I’ve learned. And then I’m going to close the door. But before I do, I’ll make sure it’s unlocked and the windows to the past are well Windexed, so that I don’t forget the lessons—all of them—and where I came from and who that boy was and continued to be.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 14, 2023
Martha Stewart is coming for Betty White’s place as America’s favorite old white woman. Stewart is ahead because we don’t just to hang out with her, we want to bang her.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 7, 2023
During rush hour on cramped public transit, the polite thing to do is remove your backpack and hold it at your side. Also, stick a piece of gum in your mouth. None of us deserve your morning coffee or dry afternoon breath.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 30, 2023
“AI expert” is a 2023 phrase that gives me the same feeling as “Social media expert” in 2009. As new as it is and as fast as it’s changing, how can you consider yourself or anyone else an expert? We should be mindful of the foreboding foreshadowing in front of us.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 23, 2023
“I just have so many acid stories,” is my favorite thing I heard this week.
Adventures from the Orlando International Airport
If what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas (it doesn’t) then what happens in Orlando haunts you for months.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 16, 2023
My happy place is a funeral. Puts things in perspective. At least I don’t have to dig a big hole in the rain.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 9, 2023
Justice Clarence Thomas is exactly the guy today he was in 1991. An angry, entitled, hateful prick with little regard for rules that impact him.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 2, 2023
Listening to the news in the car with my five-year-old son. They’re talking about Donald Tump’s indictment. Harry asks me about Trump. “Why is he a bad dude and what did he do as president?” I give him the headlines. He stops me midway through. “Dad, when you’re done telling me about Donald Trump, can you never talk about him again? Because he’s bad and I don’t want to talk about him anymore.” Well said, kid. Well said.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 26, 2023
Why does the media keep referring to Stormy Daniels as “porn star” or “adult film actress Stormy Daniels?” We know. And her job has nothing to do with the charges against Trump. It feels shameful. And it’s strange. Perverted, even. Anything to make a story more salacious. It’s also embarrassing.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 19, 2023
What’s worse? The war in Ukraine or your hotel’s wifi? The right answer is not the popular one.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 12, 2023
It’s a terrible feeling knowing you cannot trust the person or people whose #1 job is to have your back. It’s an even worse feeling knowing you’d have theirs no matter what.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 5, 2023
When we almost die, we “cheat death.” It can also be said that when we die, we’ve “cheated life.”
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 19, 2023
My wife wants me to be more assertive in bed. So, I’ve started pushing her over while she’s asleep to claim my fair share of the bed.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 12, 2023
The sign of a good Chicago neighborhood is not the property value or the level of crime, but whether neighbors shovel more than just the sidewalk in front of their house.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 5, 2023
Florida is America’s limp penis, and it is in dire need of receiving a botched circumcision.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 29, 2023
Made a Target run on Saturday with my pre-schooler blasting Lizzo on Spotify during the drive. I’m a great mom.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 22, 2023
Since police are going to keep brutally and unnecessarily killing black men, it’s refreshing to see it done by black cops, too. It reveals more of the truth that American policing itself is the problem, not just your standard white cops hate black people cliche.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 16, 2023
Setting up a new computer has a way of opening your eyes to new ways of thinking. Or, or… and hear me out… you can just put the same settings in place and keep on trucking the way you have been.
The Critic's Choice
It is a fool’s game to attempt to interpret the work—any work— of an artist. Because there is no interpretation. Nothing to be interpreted. The intended meaning is just that—an absolute. The thing you see or hear before you is what the creator intended it to be. Even if that intention was to be ambiguous.
...that both hope and fear are just emotional hallucinations projected on a reality that doesn’t care. The future is a rabid dog. It doesn’t love you. It doesn’t hate you. It just bites.