I Believe… [Basic, Average White Guy]

By Don Hall

…that when the demands of 0.06 percent of the population become the talking points of 10 percent of the population and dominate the social media of 35 percent of the population, it’s no surprise when 65 percent of the population doesn’t give a shit.

…that when people tell you you look like Al Franken, Brad Pitt, Tim Allen, John Ham’s drunk cousin, and John Wick (Keanu Reeves), it is established fact that you are the most basic, average looking white guy on the Strip.

…that when a guy with a grand total of $300 in his checking account spends a third of it on a meal, you can bet your ass he’s gonna want a lot better service than if he had $3,000 in that account.

…that I can’t help but want to strangle the guy at the gym pontificating at top volume his thoughts on the 2020 election. Time and place, juicebag.

…that with 4 out of 5 suicides and 93 percent of homicide victims being men, I’m betting that the patriarchy isn’t working so well.