A “Be Best” Experience
It seems to me, anything that can happen in real life social situations can now happen in digital social situations. This proves to be a good thing when it’s time to celebrate. This proves to be a bad thing when it comes to sexual humiliation. You just want it to go away. But, until the owner of the thread can delete it, it’s there. Staring at you. Humiliating you over and over. Every second it stays up is another chance for someone new to witness the mortification.
What if someone screenshots it and shares it with my ex boyfriend? What if strangers see my name for the first time and assume I have sex in exchange for money? What if the guy I have been dating sees it and loses interest? What if my mom sees it? What if…the possibilities are endless.
Here’s what happened. My friend made a movie I was in. The screening took place when I was out of town. I was told my bits in the movie were fantastic, some even called it the highlight of the film. I was excited and feeling good. I had been down on myself for various reasons so these compliments held extra weight. Until they didn’t.
Here is the Facebook thread:
Friend A: A delightful and weird experience. Glad to be a part of it. Lauren Huffman’s bits stole the show. XO
Lauren Huffman Omg thank you guys so much! I am touched.
Lauren Huffman Ha -- my bits. Could be taken in so many ways!
Friend A: Everyone should check out Lauren’s bits.
Friend B: I wish Lauren’s bits were edible arrangements. I would lap up every bit of those bits…especially those bits in the middle…those dripping wet strawberries are so delicious I bet. I think there’s a Groupon.
Friend B’s comment took the thread to a screeching halt. I immediately messaged the thread’s owner to please delete the comment, but he was at work and would not be checking his messages for while. I reported the post to Facebook, but it takes hours or days to be addressed. So the comment just sat there. Morphing what was playful banter into sickening repartee.
I stayed like this for hours.
I wanted to die.
Friend B hastily described private parts of myself for the world to imagine. He gave people unwarranted thoughts of what I may look like, taste like, and smell like. Something he does not have the pleasure of actually knowing. The longer the comment stays up , the more likely some guy will think he can message me asking for favors. I wanted to curl up in a ball and never leave my apartment.
The post’s owner deleted the comment as soon as he could and apologized profusely. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault except for Friend B.
After the whole thing subsided, I did learn something. I learned when you are humiliated, no one will come to your rescue. I was lucky the owner of the original post stuck up for me. But, no one else did. They didn’t have to, but feeling the shame I felt, being lifted up would have made it easier.