I Believe… [Toilet Paper? Really?]
…that fear of the unknown and the desperate need to control the direction of life are the conjoined twins who almost always give you terrible advice and cloud your already attention-deficit impulse-driven choice-engine.
…that buying toilet paper in bulk during a health crisis may be just shy of buying duct tape in bulk prior to Y2K in complete kneejerk stupidity. It’s like people hoarding air fresheners in prep for a hurricane.
…that today’s Americans could never have survived the Blitzkrieg in London because they do not have the capacity to keep calm and carry on. Christ, they can barely handle the cancelling of the NCAA tournament.
…that if you are now routinely expressing that Biden is no better than Trump, you’re a fucking moron. I mean, seriously. Eat a bag of dicks already.
…that heart disease is far more epidemic than any virus we’ve encountered but you’re still eating pizzas stuffed with melted cheese and half-pound burgers, aren’t you? Have another bag of kettle chips, fatty.
