The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Science with Dr. Science!
Science! There are no wrong answers!
Science with Dr. Science
Seventh Grade Online Science Class
Henry Ford Charter School, Pontiac, Michigan
Zoom 10:30am June 17, 2020
Attendance: Dr. Science and his class
Dr. Science – Okay, kids. Time for our seventh-grade science lesson. Does everyone have their half cup of vinegar and teaspoon of baking soda?
Sally – My mother says she saw a video that says vinegar is the same as alcohol, so she gave me a cup of sugar instead.
Dr. Science – Your mother is a wise woman. Everyone should also have a small glass of water nearby in case there are any messes.
Johnny – Water has fluoride in it, which is a government plot to make people apathetic and lower their IQs.
Dr. Science – And it’s working. Very good, Johnny. Does anyone know what will happen when we add the baking soda to the vinegar?
Timmy – God will cry?
Dr. Science – Yes. Anyone else?
Frank – It will emit a gas that will burn my eyes and prevent me from seeing color, which is what black people want so we give them benefits without them having to work for it.
Dr. Science – Also, yes!
Theo – Wait. I don’t want that and I’m black.
Dr. Science – Good work, Theo. Don’t let on.
Theo – This is just going to make carbon dioxide.
Dr. Science – Really, Theo? Is that what you believe?
Theo – No. It’s a fact. It’s verifiable.
(The class laughs.)
Dr. Science – Theo. That’s not how science works. Our Henry Ford Charter School seventh grade science lesson is in accordance with new guidelines set by Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos and President Donald J. Trump. Whatever you think and feel is the correct answer IS the correct answer. Now, everyone write down your results. Remember, the only sources you need to cite are “everybody says so” and “they.”
Theo – But we haven’t done the experiment, yet?
Dr. Science – Someone hasn’t been paying attention.
Tammy – My answer is Jesus!
Dr. Science – Amen for science, Tammy. Amen.
Jesus always has his hand raised because he always has the answer.