What Critical Thinker Aaron Rodgers Believes
“Guest Hosts That Weren’t Vaccinated” for $200, Aaron.
by Joe Janes
We live in a wonderful time in history where even an professional athlete can do his own research and have strong opinions about proven scientific facts. Green Bay Packers quarterback and self-proclaimed critical thinker Aaron Rodgers discovered that, in spite of being “immunized”, he has COVID-19. It is unclear why he considered himself immunized. What is clear is that he has not been vaccinated and has not followed safety protocols. The NFL will be fining him $14,650 for his COVID policy infractions. A fine slightly more than what Rodgers has spent on drinking bleach and eating horse medicine. A small price to pay when it comes to a multi-millionaire standing up for his interpretation of someone else’s interpretation of science. Rodgers has compared himself to Martin Luther King, Jr regarding his “moral obligation to object to unjust rules and rules that make no sense.” Perhaps Rodgers has had too many concussions and is confusing getting a shot with being shot.
Why hasn’t Aaron Rodgers been vaccinated? One reason is that the vaccine is dangerous and may cause infertility. This belief has been proven false, but you know what does cause infertility? COVID-19. Can’t fire up your baby-making parts when you aren’t able to breathe or are dead. Rodgers also claims the vaccines contain an element he is allergic to. That unspecified element is probably science.
What else does critical thinker Aaron Rodgers believe?
- He believes that Big Bird isn’t real. That Big Bird is a robot spying on us.
- He believes the moon landing was fake because there’s no way you can land on a large poster plastered to the flat earth’s translucent dome.
- He believes JFK, Jr is dead, but is more than ready to endorse his ghost when it runs with Trump in 2024.
- He once believed he encountered Bigfoot while hiking. However, the large hairy beast had rolling carry-on luggage and was just Ted Cruz returning from Cancun.
- He believes he caught COVID-19 from using a 5G telephone to take a picture of Amelia Earhart riding the Loch Ness Monster at the Denver Airport while he investigated an underground democrat pedophile/baby blood drinking ring.
- He does not believe that Trump is still president and that he should be addressed by his new title, Imperial Wizard Trump.
- He believes that ingesting horse de-wormer has no side effects, although taking medical advice from Joe Rogan does turn you into a horse’s ass.
Aaron Rodgers has a dream, a delusional fever dream possibly brought on by COVID-19.