Helpful Ways to Own the Libs

Libs hate Marjorie Taylor Greene because they hate awesome.

by Joe Janes

While being impartial and not endorsing any one political party, we here at Minutes of Our Last Meeting think it is very important that no party get too big for its ideological britches. With a DEMON-crat sitting in a stolen seat in the White House and an evil congressional tribunal looking to burn THE President Trump at the stake, we thought our conservative friends might need some support. 

Here are things you can do to own the libs today!

-       Proudly post death threats on social media. 

-       Take family pictures with your guns. They’ll try to own you back by posting family pictures with “books”. The only “book” we need is the Bible, which also looks good next to a gun. 

-       Say “Merry Christmas” all year round. Add it to your email signature.

-       Blame Biden for the surge in COVID cases while continuing to fight mask and vaccination mandates and ingesting horse de-wormer and human urine. 

-       Continue to shout out loud how the 2020 election was stolen and refuse to vote in the unfair midterm elections. If you do one thing on this list, do this!

-       Keep reminding libs that ALL lives matter, meaning just white ones and zygotes.

-       Keep referring to insurrectionists as patriots and political prisoners. 

-       Quote Marjorie Taylor Greene whenever possible and encourage the GOP to make MTG the only spokesperson for the party.

-       Wear automatic rifles when going about your daily routines including eating at buffets, doing Bikram Yoga, and swimming. 

-       Keep pretending “Let’s go, Brandon” and making the (formerly) okay symbol mean something other than you might be an idiot.

-       Show your America First pride by wearing a MAGA hat, faux Crocs, and the US flag as a diaper. Make sure the diaper doesn’t cover your Trump tramp stamp. 

Put this on your reading list, Libs!