Eggplant Toothpaste - Thoughts from Miles Tangine, Thought Leader

Miles Tangine, Thought Leader (photo by Jenni Carroll)

by Joe Janes

Here’s A Thought

from Miles Tangine, Thought Leader

Hey, Hey, Hey – Miles, here. People ask me all the time, “Miles, what’s a thought leader?” Well, I’m glad I asked! A thought leader is a person perceptive enough to identify cultural trends and help shepherd those “thought motions” that could use guidance. 

For example, a cultural trend you might remember was a few years back when everyone was putting a teaspoon of talcum powder in their coffee. Everyone was doing it. It started with a little video on the internet with a doctor claiming that talcum powder contained calcium which counters the dehydrating effects caffein has on bones. Now it has become so ingrained in our thoughts, that you find talcum powder readily available at coffee shops, right next to the oat milk, agave syrup, and bay leaves. 

What’s that? You don’t remember anything about talcum powder in coffee? That’s because this thought leader made people stop thinking about it! I made a dynamic video dressed as a talc-guzzling wingtip shoe debunking Dr. DuFere’s claims about the health benefits of talcum powder in java. Professor Shoe Face also let people know that DuFere’s degree is in chiropractic, which is basically just a masseuse that charges more money and spends less time on your back. Because of my substantial following on Twitter – mostly made up of real people – I got the word out and, as they say in the Bible, “ The word was retweeted.” The rest is history that you don’t remember because of my swift and thorough thought leadership abilities. 

But I do not feel that way about the next big thing in oral hygiene – Eggplant Toothpaste! I feel so confident in this trend that I bought stock in Crest which will be rolling out Eggplant Toothpaste with Parm Sparkles later this year. It’s also good in coffee, eliminating stains as you sip. You can find my series of informative videos about eggplant toothpaste with Professor E. Plant on my YouTube Channel, Mike Thinks What? Like and subscribe.

So, what can I do for you when you hire me at $600 per hour? I can take your “notions” of doing better business and make them commonplace to where you’ll then hire me for $1200 an hour to do even better business. I’m not just a thought leader, I’m a thought breeder! Thoughts are like worms. They wriggle around, are a little slimy, and if you cut them in half, they still move. Are your worms earthworms or are they silkworms? Do you want your thoughts spreading dirt or spreading fine underwear? Let me, Miles Tangine, Thought Leader, retweet your underwear to the world. 

I take Venmo and PayPal. 

Thinking Thoughts of YOU,

Miles Tangine

Thought Leader 

Professor E. Plant says, “Do it after every meal!”