In Defense of Donald Trump

When you’re president, they just let you do this.

written by Joe Janes

Shortly after the November 6 presidential election, Donald Trump raised roughly $250 million with the promise to fight election fraud. The House Select Committee investigating the January 6th meet-n-greet (that liberals hyperbolically call an attempt to overthrow democracy) has accused the greatest leader of our time of using those funds to fill the pockets of family and friends. They claim none of the money went towards election integrity.

This is simply another demoncrat-sponsored fib. You can’t spell “liberal” without “lie”. LI-b-E-ral!

Let us is now debunk their claims. A task easier to do than buying an AR-15 and strolling into a Dunk’n Donuts with it on your back.

CLAIM: Donors were led to believe they were donating to the “Official Election Defense Fund”, which doesn’t exist, and instead the money went to the Trump Super PAC “Save America”.

TRUTH: Another case of the left mob nitpicking semantics. You can’t save America without defending its elections. The House “Select” Committee is just demonstrating their knack for being confused by “quotation” marks.

CLAIM: Over $200,000 went to Trump-owned hotels.

TRUTH: Duh. They are the best hotels in the world. If I have to choose between a hotel with a plain ol’ bathroom and one with a gold crapper, I’m going to poop into a vessel made of precious metal. If it doesn’t say “TRUMP” in large letters on the side of the building, then you may as well be staying at a rat-infested hostel with foreigners.

CLAIM: $1 million dollars was donated to the Conservative Partnership Institute which is helmed by Trump’s former Chief of Staff, Mark Meadows.

TRUTH: Hell, yes, they did, but no way that’s a scam. How do you expect to fight election fraud without an army of elite DC thinkers? This is from the home page of their website.

“Everything we do is designed to deliver real, tangible results for the conservative movement. Our team arms, trains, and unites conservative leaders in Washington and across the country to take ground and win.”

Except on the homepage they use all caps.

CLAIM: Kimberly Guilfoyle was paid $60,000 to introduce Trump at the “Stop the Steal” January 6th rally.

TRUTH: This woman is a Godsend with the voice of an angel on fire. $60k is a bargain to hear her siren call for justice. She was paid by the minute, so what the lamestream media isn’t telling you is how much money she saved donors by not speaking longer. They also saved on electricity because her voice did not need any equipment for amplification.

The clown show known as the House Select Committee needs to wrap up their circus act and turn things back over to the dancing elephants so we can focus on the really important things, like Biden’s gas prices, Biden’s inflation, Biden’s love for murdering babies, Biden’s obsession with taking our guns, ANTIFA, BLM, and scary trans people, whatever they are.

God’s messenger because God thinks we’re deaf.