U-R-US – Fetal Lawyers

U-R-US Fetal Lawyers will listen to you!

by Joe Janes

Are you the victim of an unwanted pregnancy?

 

Are you worried there might be a

“miscarriage” of justice?

 

Frightened that your 10-year-old host might have more rights than YOU?

At U-R-US - Fetal Lawyers, we will fight for most of your constitutional rights. We’ll make sure your father stays in the picture, even if that father is your grandfather, uncle, or a violent stranger. We believe the USA needs a healthy domestic supply of infants. We believe in God’s planned parenthood.

Staying with a host that was forced to birth you may be awkward. We also offer adoption services. We’ll make sure you are raised in a loving home.*

YOU ONLY PAY

IF WE WIN!

Sure, that means you’ll have debt before you are born, but what better way to prepare for your life of freedom in America under God?

We don’t just represent fetuses. No woman has the right to block God’s manifest destiny with condoms or birth control. Ask us about our class action suits for sperm.

Talk to a U-R-US lawyer TODAY!

 Call 1-800-GODSLAW

(not to be confused with recipes for shredded cabbage salads)

*We cannot legally assure this. Good luck.

We believe life begins at the conception of getting laid. We will fight for the rights of the sperms.