Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of September 29, 2024
My 2-year-old is in this phase where he points to every woman he sees on the street or on TV or in books and says, Mommy!” He does the same thing with men, exclaiming, “Daddy!” Yesterday, at the grocery store, he picked up a Star magazine with Diddy on the cover, pointed to Diddy and shouted, “Daddy!” My son doesn’t see color, wealth, or crimes against humanity. He sees only gender. To prove this theory, I will show him a photo of Rachel Maddow to see if he says, “Mommy” or “Daddy.”
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 18, 2024
Considering how the DNC disrupted and shut down so much of Chicago, I’m left with this realization: Democracy is the greatest obstacle to progress.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 7, 2024
Everyone has a favorite pore. The one they love to pick. The one that when you leave it alone for a week or so, it fills up and gives you a solid string of blackhead squiggle to squeeze out. And you are as excited about it as if it were pay day. Every two weeks, you’re flush again. Time to blow it all… all over your mirror.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 5, 2023
Kill every absolute. Absolutely.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 28, 2023
Great advice from my wife when dealing with a child when they’re being the worst goddamn thing on the planet: They’re not giving you a hard time, they’re having a hard time. It’s great perspective. And, yes, sometimes I listen to my wife.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 14, 2023
Martha Stewart is coming for Betty White’s place as America’s favorite old white woman. Stewart is ahead because we don’t just to hang out with her, we want to bang her.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 12, 2023
It’s a terrible feeling knowing you cannot trust the person or people whose #1 job is to have your back. It’s an even worse feeling knowing you’d have theirs no matter what.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 22, 2023
Since police are going to keep brutally and unnecessarily killing black men, it’s refreshing to see it done by black cops, too. It reveals more of the truth that American policing itself is the problem, not just your standard white cops hate black people cliche.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 25, 2022
A poop before breakfast does not get enough celebratory attention.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Thanksgiving Week 2022
You know the holiday season has begun when the clerk at the clothing stores barks at you to form the line “back there!” Joy to the world.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 30, 2022
Childhood goes by fast. When you’re a parent, it goes by even faster.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 17, 2022
Parenthood is, by far, the trippiest, mind bending, and just straight up weirdest thing I’ve ever experienced.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 14, 2022
The older kid is heading off to pre-k in Chicago Public Schools next week. So here we are… I’m handing off my child to one of the most dysfunctional government organizations in our dumb nation. I can’t help but feel like a terrible parent.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 13, 2022
There is truth in stereotypes. Do your best not to be a stereotype.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 16, 2022
Parenting is sometimes you and your kid getting pissed at each other over how fast he eats his box of raisins.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 28, 2021
Shredded parmesan cheese tastes better than grated parmesan cheese. Fight me.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 9, 2021
I support Israel’s right to defend itself. I also support Palestine’s right to defend itself. Furthermore, I support Palestine’s justification for being pissed off for 73 years since its citizens were displaced and its land confiscated for Israel’s use. And finally, I support anyone’s right to criticize Israel’s policies and actions without being labeled anti-Semitic by the most simple of unprogressive minds.
Why We Gave Our Son Away
Parenthood requires sacrifice. Lots of it. A more optimistic person might say it’s not sacrifice but compromise, and to that I say they don’t know what they’re talking about. Over the last several years, my wife and I have been parents to a wonderful little human named Harrison. He’s intelligent, strong, funny, helpful, and kind. Most of the time anyway. He’s also a three-year-old toddler so he is also erratic, neurotic, sullen, mercurial, and violent. Why, just yesterday, he slapped me across the face after telling him I loved him. In a very tiny nutshell, that right there is parenthood. You give love, you get smacked in the face.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 14, 2021
Poor white people love people like Trump because they’re two sides of the same coin. They both live completely sheltered lives and both believe the lie of American Exceptionalism. The wealthier side of the coin believes that they were born into that exceptionalism because they deserved it and the poorer side believes that one day, they, too will be exceptional.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 3, 2021
Even Hitler had enough sense to stage his violent coup under the guise of night. That’s the one lesson Trump didn’t rip off from the Führer.
Christmas is a time for giving, being with family and friends, and hating every other asshole out there in the shops and on the roads also trying to spread joy and share in the Christmas spirit. Similarly, Hanukkah is a time for Jewish people to desperately try to feel relevant during Christmastime.