![I Believe... [No New Pants]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1573961997415-7JJXMVJ16SPTAVF68UGP/075304D1-A2A2-4895-9A38-9E4D29C55A60.jpeg)
I Believe... [No New Pants]
…that I no longer care so much about my diet or exercise so much as I just don’t want to have to buy new pants.
Diet Plan for People Who Don’t Move
And you wanted to get skinny, this year! How come that strong, construction worker at he oasis is carrying a whole bag of “Donette Gems” to his car and he’s not fat yet?
Why come that is?
Anyway, look at yourself. Fat. Me too. You should see me. I tripped on my pecs this morning and here I lay on the bathroom floor, writing for Literate Ape (which takes absolutely no talent or energy; just the ability to ignore loved ones).
Christmas is a time for giving, being with family and friends, and hating every other asshole out there in the shops and on the roads also trying to spread joy and share in the Christmas spirit. Similarly, Hanukkah is a time for Jewish people to desperately try to feel relevant during Christmastime.