Contributing Writer 8/31/21 Contributing Writer 8/31/21

Hell is a Sunday Matinee

The most acid I've ever taken by accident was at a Saturday night cast party.

Brett Dworski 4/13/21 Brett Dworski 4/13/21

A Look at Today’s Approach to Mental Health through the Mind of Hollywood’s Most Convoluted Antihero

Travis opened up and wasn’t taken seriously. In 2021, an era where mental health is more discussed and normalized than ever before, Travis is an extreme and somber expression of what can happen to people who need help but never receive it.

Contributing Writer 3/2/21 Contributing Writer 3/2/21

Hey, Kid, Catch The Ball

If we didn’t play ball in the alleys, we played pinners against the front-stoop with a pinkie or fastpitch against the factory wall. What we didn’t want to do is hit our only league into the yard of Mr. Hardwick, who had Baron, the meanest German Shepard you could imagine on patrol. Baron drooled with desire when he saw us come near, the dream of tearing off a piece of our skin or even a finger or two making him crazy.

Contributing Writer 2/28/21 Contributing Writer 2/28/21

Dear Don (both of you; all of you)

Crime has never stopped paying. How naïve I have been all my life thinking that one day it would…not pay.

Contributing Writer 1/9/21 Contributing Writer 1/9/21

Tilly’s

I could see him as he talked. The mouth surrounded by the scraggly beard, moving at a thousand miles an hour. Him walking and talking at the same time since he never sat for too long in any one place. Medium height, medium build, and large hands with fingers, which had been broken years ago. The hands hid the story of a man feared by many when he was much younger.

Mike Vinopal 12/24/20 Mike Vinopal 12/24/20

One Man’s Trash Is Another Man’s Treasure

Do you know the history of the White Elephant?

Oh, the storied tales of White Elephant Christmases gone by! The triumph and defeat! The never-ending variations on the tradition from family to family, office to office! I am giddy just thinking about it. But first, let me back up for those who know not of the White Elephant.

Contributing Writer 12/13/20 Contributing Writer 12/13/20

The Social Worker

I got a call. I needed to go to a home. A redneck case. Trailer trash in an apartment. Truancy issue with a 6th grader, as if showing up to school was going to change his future.

Contributing Writer 12/1/20 Contributing Writer 12/1/20

Tani's Solution to America's Mass Shooting Problem

Finally, no American citizen will be forced to own a government issued weapon and can opt out and refuse, or return their weapon at any point in their life. Children will have the same choice at age 18.

Contributing Writer 6/30/20 Contributing Writer 6/30/20

PARDON MY FRONTAL LOBOTOMY

Excuse me, do you know where the restroom is?

I must confess to you, I smell like a petri dish.

David Himmel 4/2/20 David Himmel 4/2/20

Yoga in the Time of Quarantine

Chicago self-isolation, Day 11— By now my boyfriend and I, stuck in our 400-square-foot studio, have gone through our television and movie watch-lists, stuffed ourselves with take-out, and pretty much murdered our puzzle/boardgame/book collection. Work takes up some time, but today is Saturday. We’ve been getting on each other’s nerves.

Contributing Writer 3/31/20 Contributing Writer 3/31/20

Sixty Is Hard to Accept

I hope to give more than I take in my limited time on this planet. Thinking about it nightly helps me to make better choices.

David Himmel 3/9/20 David Himmel 3/9/20

Let’s Toast to Booze!

Human beings began creating fermented beverages some twenty thousand years ago. Alcohol has been a staple of the economies and cultures of every civilization since the advent of agriculture. It is, in part, why we are here. Today there are six hundred bottles of alcohol for every human being on earth, which means that statistically, you... are beer? I don’t know how statistics work.

Now, is any of that accurate? I don’t know. I ran out of time today and didn’t look it up. But by the end of my time here, I will convince you that booze is far superior to its slacker cousin weed. To get us started, I’d like to propose a drinking game. Every time you think I make a good point, take a drink. Every time you think I make a bad point, take two drinks, and you’ll start to realize I was right all along.

Contributing Writer 12/4/19 Contributing Writer 12/4/19

All Art is Political

But where, might you ask, is Art in all this. Well, if the concept of Politics precedes everything, guess what, Art, informs everything that politics and language created because 70,000 years ago, Homo sapiens developed an ability no other animal possesses, the ability to imagine that what which can not be seen. In other words, Imagination. If there is a dividing line between art and imagination, I’m hard pressed to find it.

Contributing Writer 10/22/19 Contributing Writer 10/22/19

The Case Against Joe Biden

With the House formally going forward with impeachment, the premise of Joe Biden’s whole campaign is obsolete. He and his campaign claimed he was the most electable and the best candidate to beat Donald Trump – patently not true anymore.

Contributing Writer 8/15/19 Contributing Writer 8/15/19

Humans are Inherently Good

I truly believe now that we are all inherently good and are trying our best. We may fail a lot. But we really are good.

Exhibit A: Love. Love, actually, is all around. With few exceptions, we inherently love our families and our friends.

Exhibit B: Look around you. Look how many people are currently not murdering someone.

That’s good. High five, all of you.

Contributing Writer 8/14/19 Contributing Writer 8/14/19

Humans are Scum

I cannot express how excited I am. Because over the past couple weeks since I was assigned this topic, I’ve been overwhelmed by this deep, dark despair. But in the next few minutes, I get to unload it all onto you, and then I can resume the carefree complacency to which I’ve grown accustomed.

You. People. Suck.

It’s true and you all know it and here are seven reasons why.

Sheri Reda 7/14/19 Sheri Reda 7/14/19

Cal Embraces the Death Penalty

“You know what I want to get her, I mean, if I don't break up with her?

I want to get her one of those stun guns you can get at Walmart—”

David Himmel 7/4/19 David Himmel 7/4/19

Loving Your Country is Like Loving Your Child

I love my daughter more than anything. I am devoted to her. I would die to defend her.

But that doesn’t mean I defend or justify every single thing she does. When she tries to claw her mother’s eyes out because she hasn’t peeled a banana fast enough, I let her know that that shit is not acceptable. My love for her motivates me to help her not be an asshole. I want her to succeed at being a worthwhile person. I want her to realize her full potential. Which I’ll again briefly mention is enormous, probably greater than your kids’, if you have them.

This brings me to love of country; patriotism.

Sheri Reda 6/25/19 Sheri Reda 6/25/19

Him, Too

Almost everyone has a Me, Too story. This one isn’t mine.

Contributing Writer 6/6/19 Contributing Writer 6/6/19

Hank, Unedited

It's an early morning in September, twenty years in the future. MOM is driving her son HANK to school. Hank is an ordinary-looking child of 10 who suffers from a rare genetic disorder, Brittanicus Affectavus Horribulis.