Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 25, 2023
I recently ordered sushi in English off a Hebrew menu while sucking back a German Pilsner. Tell me again why we can’t figure out world peace?
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 11, 2023
I have a closet full of luggage stuffed with grudges. But I’m such a fantastic packer that the grudges don’t weigh me down or hold me up, and there’s always room for more.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 4, 2023
I have a closet full of luggage stuffed with grudges. But I’m such a fantastic packer that the grudges don’t weigh me down or hold me up, and there’s always room for more.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 28, 2023
Great advice from my wife when dealing with a child when they’re being the worst goddamn thing on the planet: They’re not giving you a hard time, they’re having a hard time. It’s great perspective. And, yes, sometimes I listen to my wife.
On Turning 44 | It’s Time to Grow Up
So tonight, at the time of this writing, I am two hours shy of my forty-fourth birthday and I’m going to dip into the past just a bit, just to the last year, to consider what I’ve learned. And then I’m going to close the door. But before I do, I’ll make sure it’s unlocked and the windows to the past are well Windexed, so that I don’t forget the lessons—all of them—and where I came from and who that boy was and continued to be.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 14, 2023
Martha Stewart is coming for Betty White’s place as America’s favorite old white woman. Stewart is ahead because we don’t just to hang out with her, we want to bang her.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 7, 2023
During rush hour on cramped public transit, the polite thing to do is remove your backpack and hold it at your side. Also, stick a piece of gum in your mouth. None of us deserve your morning coffee or dry afternoon breath.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 30, 2023
“AI expert” is a 2023 phrase that gives me the same feeling as “Social media expert” in 2009. As new as it is and as fast as it’s changing, how can you consider yourself or anyone else an expert? We should be mindful of the foreboding foreshadowing in front of us.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 23, 2023
“I just have so many acid stories,” is my favorite thing I heard this week.
Adventures from the Orlando International Airport
If what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas (it doesn’t) then what happens in Orlando haunts you for months.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 16, 2023
My happy place is a funeral. Puts things in perspective. At least I don’t have to dig a big hole in the rain.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 9, 2023
Justice Clarence Thomas is exactly the guy today he was in 1991. An angry, entitled, hateful prick with little regard for rules that impact him.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 2, 2023
Listening to the news in the car with my five-year-old son. They’re talking about Donald Tump’s indictment. Harry asks me about Trump. “Why is he a bad dude and what did he do as president?” I give him the headlines. He stops me midway through. “Dad, when you’re done telling me about Donald Trump, can you never talk about him again? Because he’s bad and I don’t want to talk about him anymore.” Well said, kid. Well said.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 26, 2023
Why does the media keep referring to Stormy Daniels as “porn star” or “adult film actress Stormy Daniels?” We know. And her job has nothing to do with the charges against Trump. It feels shameful. And it’s strange. Perverted, even. Anything to make a story more salacious. It’s also embarrassing.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 19, 2023
What’s worse? The war in Ukraine or your hotel’s wifi? The right answer is not the popular one.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 12, 2023
It’s a terrible feeling knowing you cannot trust the person or people whose #1 job is to have your back. It’s an even worse feeling knowing you’d have theirs no matter what.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 5, 2023
When we almost die, we “cheat death.” It can also be said that when we die, we’ve “cheated life.”
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 19, 2023
My wife wants me to be more assertive in bed. So, I’ve started pushing her over while she’s asleep to claim my fair share of the bed.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 12, 2023
The sign of a good Chicago neighborhood is not the property value or the level of crime, but whether neighbors shovel more than just the sidewalk in front of their house.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 5, 2023
Florida is America’s limp penis, and it is in dire need of receiving a botched circumcision.
...that, if taken through the lens of truck stops and gas stations throughout the Midwest, Reese’s has taken over the world.