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New Year’s Resolutions: A Savage Journey to the Heart of Self-Delusion

Dec 31, 2024

Don Hall

New Year’s Resolutions: A Savage Journey to the Heart of Self-Delusion

Dec 31, 2024

Don Hall

The concept of the New Year’s resolution is as American as apple pie and arterial blockages—a ritualistic spectacle of good intentions dressed up in cheap tinsel and wishful thinking.

Dec 31, 2024

Don Hall

ARCHIVE OF ARTICLES

Don Hall 7/18/17 Don Hall 7/18/17

I Believe...[We Love Our Guns]

...that arts education teaches empathy on multiple levels and sports teaches competitiveness. Is it any wonder that we have churned out two generations of people who see empathy as a competition?

Don Hall 7/10/17 Don Hall 7/10/17

I Believe...[The Safest Space]

...that the safest space of all, removed from micro aggressions and ideas that conflict with your belief system, is in your parents' basement with a padlock to keep your sister from snooping.

Don Hall 7/3/17 Don Hall 7/3/17

I Believe... [Small Minds]

...that the quote that goes around that posits "Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people."? Yeah, I believe that.

Don Hall 6/27/17 Don Hall 6/27/17

I Believe... [Street Fests Are SOOOO White]

Don Hall 6/21/17 Don Hall 6/21/17

I Believe...

...that I really didn't need to know about the drugs in Carrie Fisher's system but I do need to know how the jury acquitted the cop who murdered Philando Castile.

Don Hall 6/14/17 Don Hall 6/14/17

I Believe... [Get Your Feet Offa My Plane!]

...that it really is completely unacceptable to get on a five-hour flight, take off your sandals and put your bare feet up on the seat in front of you. My response was simply to look at him and his feet and say "No. Not gonna happen." He put his sandals back on.

Don Hall 6/6/17 Don Hall 6/6/17

I Believe... [Bill Maher Needs to Channel Lenny Bruce]

...that if Bill Maher wants to say the word, he should take Lenny Bruce's cue and say it so many times it becomes meaningless or makes a point. The casual dropping of an intense racial epithet is exponentially worse in its flip and careless use.

Don Hall 5/29/17 Don Hall 5/29/17

I Believe... [Snake Plissken vs Johnny Castle]

Don Hall 5/19/17 Don Hall 5/19/17

I Believe... [Trump vs. Harrison]

...that the idea of a male romper is more distressing than the man-bun, the endless facial hair and the fake enthusiasm for kale. I may move to Wyoming and live in a cave to avoid modern fashion trends.