Of Course He Fucking Said That
If your defense of Bernie is, “Bernie would never say that,” then you’re lying to me or to yourself. Of course Bernie would have said that. Men who pride themselves on being woke have said exactly that to me or within my hearing. I think nearly everyone I know has at least whispered the question: Can a woman win? None of us know yet if the answer is yes.
Holiday Gift Guide: The Best Baby Yoda Stuff for Your Favorite Star Wars Fan
You: I’m trying to find the perfect gift for my Star Wars-obsessed friend/sibling/lover. I don’t know, I guess maybe they’d like a custom lightsaber or something?
Me, an intellectual: Baby Yoda.
Book Club Made Me Read It | Sophie's Choice
This sheer meaninglessness, is one of the key overarching themes of Sophie’s Choice. It’s a book that seems frequently to yearn towards meaning and yet has strong undercurrents of nihilism.
Notes From the Harrison Hills
This is the sort of thing you’re not supposed to do — wander around off-trail. I wonder if I’ve made a critical mistake, but I don’t feel particularly alarmed or concerned about the situation I’ve gotten myself into. Does that mean I’m rightly assessing that this is fine? I’m not that far off-trail, I know there are roads and ATV trails that crisscross this whole area, and I know which direction to head. Or is my nonchalance the same kind of unearned confidence that got that Into the Wild idiot killed?
FAQs: My Hair
Oh, what an interesting style/color. What does your <boyfriend/husband/male partner> think about it?
A. I don’t give a shit.
I Am Constantly Relearning How to Love my Body
Sometimes I take selfies and I post them on the internet. I wonder if people will think I’m vain, but then I think that liking my appearance enough to be vain is itself a kind of victory.
Book Club Made Me Read It | The Changeling
And holy shit if this book had ended right there, I’d be writing a very different review right now. The vibrancy of their early relationship with each other, the slow creep of horror as things become more and more wrong in the Kagwa-Valentine household, the awful question of whether Emma might actually be right, the visceral brutality of the final scenes… It works. It’s good.
Book Club Made Me Read It: Carrie
Male writers please take note, you really do not need to describe the shape and relative perkiness of the breasts of every woman who appears in your book. In fact, in most cases you need to describe the breasts of none of the women who appear in your book. I have no recollection of what color hair most of these women were supposed to have, but I can tell you they’ve pretty much all got perky tits.
FAQs: Ethical Nonmonogamy (Part 2)
Don’t all nonmonogamous relationships end in fiery disaster?
No, but you’re probably asking this question because you’ve heard about at least one that did. Your cousin’s best friend’s brother opened his relationship and then his wife left him for her new girlfriend, right?
FAQs: Ethical Nonmonogamy (Part 1)
What is ethical nonmonogamy?
Ethical nonmonogamy refers to any relationship which meets the following criteria:
It is not monogamous
All parties involved know that the relationship is not monogamous
All parties involved consent to being in a relationship that is not monogamous
Yes, Lady From The Federalist, Adults Did Fail the Covington Catholic Boys
Adults have failed these kids by being all too willing to accept that nice white Catholic boys obviously could not have intended to be racist, and therefore were not racist. Adults have failed these kids by raising them inside a comfortable bubble of wealth and whiteness and teaching them they don’t have to bother thinking beyond the walls of that bubble.
I was Trying to Write Something About the New Year but I Wrote Whatever This is Instead
I think about writing, “I think about writing nothing ever again, because what’s the point in it,” but that isn’t true; I never actually thought that, it’s just a thing that enters my head as something I could write. It’s the sort of thing someone might think, probably. Not this someone, though — no, probably, I’m too convinced of my own worthiness as a writer to ever consider simply not writing. What would be the point in that?
The Future Is Female?
I think it’s clear to us all by now that men are simply not well-suited for gracefully managing the complex interpersonal connections necessary in the public sphere. They are too, shall we say, lusty and too ruled by instinct; these are not bad traits, not a sign that men are made wrong in any way — simply that they are different from women.
On Fear and Silence
When I watched Dr. Christine Blasey Ford testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee, I felt her desire to be believed, and her fear that she wouldn’t be, as palpably as if it were my own.
It is my own.
I am afraid to tell this story. I’m afraid to put it out into the world and let others judge its seriousness and its veracity.
Notes From the Chippewa Moraine
If you’ve never woken alone in the middle of the night to the sound of a coyote screaming about 50 feet from your campsite, then drifted nearly back to sleep only to hear it cry again, closer this time, and then lope straight through your camp, you’ve missed out on a truly unsettled night’s sleep.
These backpacking trips are an opportunity to get away from the world. Maybe more importantly, they’re an opportunity to get out of my own head.
Love Curse — Part III
She liked Len okay, really. She just didn’t true love love him. They barely knew each other. They’d met on a Tuesday, gone home together on Wednesday, and by Friday decided to go all in on the whole “boyfriend/girlfriend” thing. She’d taken things slow with her last relationship, after all, and look how that turned out. She wished Len would stop letting his mom cut his hair and go to a real barber for fuck’s sake, but the sex was good and they got along smoothly enough.
I Will Let Go of Straws When You Let Go of the Bloated Corpse of Capitalism
Doing away with straws is the thoughts & prayers of environmentalism. It makes us feel like we did something good without having to put in any actual effort whatsoever.
On Wanting More
Call me greedy. Call me a hedonist. You’re not wrong. I am who I am, and I’m not ashamed of it. I’ll never be an ascetic. I’m hella attached to worldly pleasures, and to the world. I suppose I’m probably lucky that I’m not inclined to addiction — but there are too many things I want more of to focus all of my energies on just one substance or one sensation.
On Writers and Saints
I’m not a perfect person. I make no claims of sainthood. Here, if you like, is a litany of some of my faults: I’m an arrogant, know-it-all bitch. I’m stubborn, often to a fault. I hold people to extremely high standards. I’m inclined to fits of pettiness, and I tend to hold grudges basically forever. Despite having spent years preaching to my students constantly about how there’s no shame in needing help, I’m lousy at asking for it for myself. I don’t have much interest in privacy. I will brook almost no opposition to my right to do as I fucking well please.
Star Wars Probably Taught You Some Dumb, Wrong Shit
Seriously, look at Anakin and tell me the whole fucking galaxy wouldn’t be a lot different if anyone had ever bothered to teach him some basic coping skills. How do you healthily process grief? Not by murdering a shitload of Sand People.
Anxiety is the thing that’s ripped our country apart. It has divided us, caused us to fear and hate those who think and live differently than us, and even caused us to hate those who only slightly disagree with us. It has led to panic and overreaction. And I worry that American Anxiety is only going to exacerbate the social and political divide in this country to the point that there is no coming back.