America is Back, Baby!
If your friends jump off a cliff, it is perfectly safe for you to also jump off a cliff.
Live Free, Die Texan!
If you contract COVID and the hospital is full, don’t be a baby about it.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Politicians Meet on Tracks to Discuss Likelihood of Trains
The politicians celebrate their victory as the train continues to run over people.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Coronavirus Task Force Meeting
While you eat McNuggets, I will gladly plant my face in your tossed salad.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - Trump's Perfect Call to the CDC
I just wanted to tell you that I am doing a terrific job.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – The CDC Issues Warnings About Bullet Season
"Tens of thousands of people die each year from bullet wounds. Bullet wounds are caused by bullets more than likely discharged from a gun. The only way to catch one of these bullets is if they are airborne, in which case they can enter through the nose, the throat, the eyes, any part of the body, really."
Christmas is a time for giving, being with family and friends, and hating every other asshole out there in the shops and on the roads also trying to spread joy and share in the Christmas spirit. Similarly, Hanukkah is a time for Jewish people to desperately try to feel relevant during Christmastime.