Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 21, 2021
I get really happy when religious leaders do the right thing. A sign of this is often when the flock gets really upset at their leader.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 14, 2021
Poor white people love people like Trump because they’re two sides of the same coin. They both live completely sheltered lives and both believe the lie of American Exceptionalism. The wealthier side of the coin believes that they were born into that exceptionalism because they deserved it and the poorer side believes that one day, they, too will be exceptional.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 7, 2021
The joy I get from ironing is what I imagine heroin feels like.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 31, 2021
Marjorie Taylor Greene’s masks are to anti-Semites and racists as Judah Friedlander’s hats are to liberals and feminists.
The Tragic Genius of Dustin “Screech” Diamond
We all wanted to be Zack and Kelly. Maybe some of us wanted to be Slater or even Jessie. But we should have wanted to be Screech. Screech was the best of them all. They best of all of us. Screech was a progressive television character before we knew what that was supposed to be. And that is solely because of Dustin Diamond.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 24, 2021
Hedge fund managers are the real welfare queens and kings. But they’re way lazier.
Hell in a Handbasket
Before she was Jane Hadley, the rock ’n’ roll singer/songwriter—the Goddess of Rock, bigger than Taylor, Adele, and Beyoncé combined, she was Jane Hadley, the folk ’n’ roll singer/songwriter who never sold more than a thousand albums and a few hundred t-shirts. Before she had a #1 album flying off the shelves and being downloaded to the Cloud by millions, and an entire merchandising department, she was just a girl who played in a few bands: the Stargazers, Rosie’s Dream Catcher, Jane and the Jaded Cowboys.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 17, 2021
Of all the damage the Trump Presidency did, it’s important to remember that the most egregious was that under Trump’s watch, we were attacked by Thanos. Twice.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 10, 2021
The life hack to being a better person is to wake up every day determined to prove your spouse wrong.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 3, 2021
Even Hitler had enough sense to stage his violent coup under the guise of night. That’s the one lesson Trump didn’t rip off from the Führer.
Who Gets to Tell Your Kid’s Story?
I hated when my mother would talk about me to her friends when I was a kid. Hated it. Even the most bland of stories, like, say, that I was playing little league again that spring would infuriate me. And I know she shared way more about me than my pre-teen baseball career to her friends and family. Hated it. As if she knew anything about me whatsoever. As if my challenges and wins and all-inclusive experiences—as if my life—were her story to tell.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | 2021 New Year Resolutions Edition
If a resolution of yours is happens to be about your weight, please consider going easy on yourself. You’re not alone. We all hate our bodies and want someone else’s. For example, I want Gal Gadot’s.
Wonder Woman 1984 Couldn’t Save the Story
Wonder Woman 1984 was a disappointment. And not as much for me as for Diana and Wonder Woman. And for actor Gal Gadot. She was robbed of an interesting story. There is no character development in WW84 for our hero. Diana is in the exact same place as she was at the end of the first film.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Christmas Movies Edition
The most unrealistic thing about Home Alone is that Fuller, a bedwetter, would have also overslept.
I am Santa Claus: A Parenting Journey
Christmas Eve. Just after somewhere between 7:30 and 8:57-ish at night. My wife was hurried away in the kitchen preparing tomorrow morning’s breakfast—an egg casserole that’ll put hair on your mother’s balls. Delicious. I was lulling the child to sleep with three books. One about trucks, another about construction trucks, and the third, Goodnight Moon.
A Missed Opportunity
Hunting rats and my desire to kill them was the first topic of conversation my wife and I had when we met. She said I should not have been walking the alley behind my apartment with a small bb gun shooting at them because they had a right to be there. She wasn’t wrong. But neither was I. Fuck rats. Kill them all.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Favorite 2020 Conspiracies Edition
Kamala Harris is only a Black woman so Biden could get the white liberal woman vote.
"Baby, It's Cold Outside" 2020 Edition
He: Beautiful watch you're wearing
She: My father will be pacing the floor—Wait, what about my watch?
He: Listen to the fireplace roar
She: No. This isn’t about the fireplace. Look, really, I'd better scurry
He: Okay. That’s fair. Text me tomorrow. I’ll get you a Lyft.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 6, 2020
The only people who care about Hanukkah are bored Jews and gentiles trying to be nice.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 29, 2020
Watching The Crown, I saw the pretext that read: “The following episode includes scenes of an eating disorder which some viewers may find troubling. Viewer discretion is advised. Information and resources for those struggling with eating disorders are available at www.wannatalkaboutit.com” I thought, Oh, yay! Diana is back in this episode!
Having a good set of lips to kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve won’t ensure you a great year, but it’s a helluva good start.